Recipe of Disaster
by NeeP
Summary: There's some new faces in Nerima, but they don't belong there. The new kid, Iikiba, has some kind of secret, and he doesn't want to tell. He isn't even after Ranma. He just wants some recipe from Ukyou. And how does Ryouga fit into the picture?
1. Boys in Bandannas

Recipe of Disaster 

_By Niki (NeeP) Paradis_

_The legal stuff and credits that I owe to others...:_

                Ranma ½ is written by Rumiko Takahashi, produced in Japan by Sunday Comics, and Shogankukan Video (Studios?)  It is released in North America by Viz Communications.  This story and others by me like it are in no way meant to be used for profit, just entertainment.  Anyone else who thinks otherwise is plain loco.  Besides, I'm poor and cannot afford being sued by anyone.

_                Jiro, Jakku Mizuno, Iikiba Hibiki, Yoiko Hibiki, Kanaeda Saotome, Ranko Saotome, Gel, Mizuko and Oyu are figments of my imagination, and I am claiming them as such.   Others, such as Kitana Kunou and Tamara, are the brain property of LizMUN, who was nice enough to lend me her characters to populate a future Nerima._

_                Iikiba Hibiki, although my character, has been designed to be able to cross into other stories or series with no reason whatsoever.  I don't mind if other people use him in their stories, but I would appreciate being asked first.  I just want to make sure Iikiba stays within character, that's all.  My e-mail address is at: neep@otaku-village.com._

_For the sake of reading convenience, I'll assume that not everyone understands Japanese and thus keep the use of Japanese words to a minimum, except in the case of titles or names.  For these I'll leave a brief translation here._

_                **Oniisan:  Big Brother – the formal form.  Jiro addresses Ryouga in this way.**_

_                **Oniichan:  Big Brother – more familiar form.  Yoiko addresses Iikiba in this way.**_

_                **Otousan:  Father – the formal form.**_

_                **Tousan:  Father or 'Dad' – more familiar form.  Iikiba addresses his father in this manner.**_

_                **Touchan:  'Daddy' – most familiar form.  Yoiko calls her father this.**_

_                **Okaasan:  Mother – the formal form.**_

**_Okaachan__: Mother or 'Mom' – semiformal form.  Iikiba addresses his mother in this way._**

_                **Kaachan:  'Mommy' – most familiar form.  Yoiko calls her mother this.**_

_                **Oneechan: Big Sister – more familiar form.  Kasumi gets called this a lot.**_

_                **Oyaji: Pop, or literally "old man" – Ranma addresses his father this way.  Incidentally, Kanaeda calls his dad this as well.**_

I am reloading this story to prepare for the continuation of it.  Please, feel free to beat me up with words so I can get my act together and finish this tale.  Thanks.

**Recipe of Disaster** Niki (NeeP) Paradis Chapter One:  Boys With Bandannas 

The young man stood alone in the middle of a busy street.  People walked by him, on their way to wherever it was that they were going.  The young man sighed.  At least they knew where they were going.  It wasn't as if he hadn't any idea of where he wanted to go, but, rather, he didn't know how to get there.

                He walked up to a koban (police-box) and politely inquired about the whereabouts of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop.  The officer, a rookie who was new to the area of Nerima, had no idea, but offered to call the senior officer who regularly patrolled the area and get the answers from him.

                Bring ... Bring ...

                "Hello?" 

                "Excuse me, sir, but there is a young man here, asking for directions about ..."

                "Wait a sec, a young man?"

                "Yes sir..."

                "About sixteen or seventeen years old?"

                "Yes..."

                "Carrying a backpack and umbrella and wearing a bandanna?"

                "Yes sir..."

                "_Shit!" The senior officer mumbled.  "Not him again..."_

                "Sir? ..."

                "Listen.  That young idiot is perpetually lost.  You can give him directions for a certain location today, but sure enough he'll ask you for the same directions tomorrow.  Better get used to this loony."

                " ... "

                "Is it the Tendou Dojo again or for the High School?"

                "Neither sir, he's asked for directions for Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop."

                "Oh.  Well then, tell him..."

                The officer relayed the directions to the patiently waiting bandanna-clad youth.  Who thanked him and dashed away ... in the wrong direction. 

                "Hey wait!" cried the rookie.  He was about to dashed after the boy when another young man stumbled up to him.  

                "Where is Furinkan High School?"  He asked.

                The rookie stared, wondering just how many bandanna-wearing, backpack and umbrella carrying boys there were out there any way?  

                The young man ran through the streets, almost swearing out loud as he dashed by buildings that seemed familiar but he wasn't sure.  _I have to find the Okonomiyaki shop, I just gotta.  He dashed around the same block three times, before coming to a complete stop.  His eyes filled with tears as he again cursed his lack of direction.  He wiped the tears from his eyes with his fists and yelled loudly enough that the people surrounding him quickly decided to give him a wide berth.            _

                "WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?"

                "WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?"              

                Ukyou looked up from the grill that she was cleaning.  The shop was still open for business, but she preferred tidying up whenever she could.  That cut down on the amount of time it took her to clean after the shop was closed, and it made a good impression on the Health Inspector whenever he came by on surprise visits.       

                _Is that Ryouga?  She wondered if the idiot out there knew that he was making an ass out of himself.  It was one of those things that can drive potential customers away: loud idiots making nuisances of themselves.  She had to do something before the idiot costs her the evening's business._

                She marched through the door, armed with her battle-spatula (just in case) and a look that meant business.

                "RYOUGA, YOU JACKASS!  WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YO --"

                Ukyou stopped short as she got a good look at the particular idiot that she was yelling at.

                It wasn't Ryouga.

                The boy looked at her, re-shouldered his backpack, all the while looking as embarrassed as Ukyou herself felt.

                "Excuse me," he asked.  "Where would I find Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop?"

                Confused, the owner of said shop jerked her thumb at the sign behind her.

                "_Oh good," the boy sighed in relief.  "I finally found it."_

                The rookie was pondering about the two strange young men with apparent lack of direction when a young girl interrupted him.                

                "Excuse me, I am hoping that you could help me..."

                The rookie stared.  The girl was about fifteen years of age.  Her blond hair was up in two ponytails on the top of her head, and kept out of her face and secured behind her pointed ears with a blue and white bandanna.  She carried a heavy backpack with a blue umbrella strapped on top.  Her demeanour was that of a person who has travelled a great distance.

                "Are _you lost too?" asked the police officer._

                "No.  But I am looking for someone who is.  You've probably already seen him.  I'm looking for a boy wearing a bandanna, carrying an umbrella and backpack.  Could you tell me where he went?"

                "Which one of 'em were you looking for?"

                The girl just stared blankly at him.

                The distance between the koban and the high school was about three blocks but it took Ryouga Hibiki two hours to get there.  To his dismay, school had already been let out for the day and most of the club meetings and extra-curricular activities were almost finished.  There was next to no one around, and definitely not Ranma Saotome. 

                "Damn you, Ranma," he growled to himself.  "Avoiding a man to man fight like that!  You will pay!"

                Of course, it hadn't occurred to him that if he made it to the school an hour and a half ago, he would have found Ranma mashed into the ground with a huge mallet imprint in the side of his head.  But within an hour and a half time span, Ranma regained consciousness, brushed himself off, insulted Akane's lack of femininity, and taken a flight across town via the same mallet that knocked him flat.  However, all that Ryouga could see was the fact that Saotome had ran away from him _again.  _

                It wasn't his day. 

                Then he took a look up into the sky.  Off in the distance, dark clouds were forming, and with the wind blowing those same clouds directly towards him (or so it seemed), Ryouga figured that he had less than an hour to find a sheltered place to set up camp for the night.  And on top of that, his tent had a leak in it and the patch kit was in Jiro's backpack.

                Ryouga sighed.  It was going to be a _loooong night as well._

                Ukyou watched her visitor eat.  He ate in a way that suggested that he hadn't eaten for hours and yet he ate in a style that indicated that he knew that there was a _certain way to go about eating okonomiyaki.  Curiously she looked the boy over while he occupied with eating his meal.  _

                He was somewhat taller than she was, and muscular but not bulky.  He had thick brown hair that looked like it was once cut short but was starting to grow out.  It was kept out of his hazel eyes with a plain red bandanna.  He wore a sleeveless red shirt and grey pants that were tied at the ankles.

                _Pleasant looking individual, she thought to herself.  __Nothing like Ranchan, but not bad looking at all.  In fact, if she had to compare the stranger to someone at all, she would have to pick Ryouga.  Not that he was anywhere close to her ideal of a perfect man, but he had more in common with this boy than Ranma would._

                Ukyou then realised that she was staring and that object of her gaze was staring back, his cheeks flushed red.  She cleared her throat as she quickly turned her head.

                "Are you ... Kuonji Ukyou?" he asked around a mouthful of food.

                "I guess I am, honey."  Ukyou was starting to become intrigued.  "So what's your name, Sugar?  Why were you looking for this shop?"

                The boy took a last swallow of his meal, before replying.

                "My name is Hii ... uhh just call me Iikiba."

                _Iikiba?  As in "good fangs"?  No way..._

                "I travelled a long way, on a quest for my mother."  He grinned, revealing his namesakes.  "She said to me that you have something that she needs."

                _Do I know of any older women?  Asked Ukyou to herself.  Out loud she said, "Your mother, huh?  Do I know her?"_

                "No ... But she knows you ...uh, of you ... heh, heh."  Iikiba blushed as if he caught himself saying something that he shouldn't have.  "Well anyway, she wanted me to get a copy of your mother's okonomiyaki recipe."

                Jiro looked around the school ground.  No Ryouga in sight.  She knew he came here, his ki signature was evident, but he was obviously elsewhere right now.  _Probably looking for shelter, she thought as the first few drops of rain came down on her.  She pulled her umbrella out of its straps on her backpack and opened it up.  She wasn't cursed like her "brother" but she wasn't eager to get soaked, at least not until she got her hands on some dry __clean clothes.  _

                She sighed, everyday it seemed like she was trying to find Ryouga.  At least now he was willing to accept her company instead of trying to lose her all of the time.  Who knows?  Maybe one day his family'll adopt her, and then she'd have someplace where she belonged.  Until then, she will be content to be his guide and to show him just how helpful a little sister (even if it is only in name) could be.

                Jiro stood still.  She widened her senses, trying the air around her for the right sense of Ryouga-- ness.  She strained, listening, feeling with every fibre of her being until she felt a trace of Ryouga's chi at the edge of her sensory net towards the shopping district of Nerima.  Satisfied that he was within tracking distance, she set off at a brisk pace towards him.  


	2. The Price of a Meal

**Recipe of Disaster**

_Niki (NeeP) Paradis_

Chapter Two:  The Price of a Meal.

                _He wants my mother's recipe? _

                Ukyou was startled into silence ... but just for a moment.  She recovered quickly and glared at the boy.  

                "What are you?  A scout for my competitors?"  She hefted her spatula.

                "No!  No ... lemme explain..."  Iikiba threw his arms over his head as if preparing for the oncoming blow.

                "Better make it quick, Sugar, and I better like the explanation."

                "Like I said, I come from a place ... far away.  My mother knew your mother ... and she once had a copy of that recipe.  But it was lost ... and she was so upset, I wanted to make it up to her ... you know, make her feel better, and since I was in the area, I thought to find your shop and ask you."

                _Uh huh, thought Ukyou.  "Yeah right.  Try again."_

                "P-please, uh Ukyou-san, I'm telling the truth."  Tears started to well up in his eyes.  "It's really important to my mother."

                The okonomiyaki chef looked at the tearful young man.  _He's telling the truth about how important it is to his mother, she thought, but if the rest of that tale is true, I'll eat my spatula._

                Ryouga dashed into a restaurant and got out of the doorway just as a gust of wind blew the rain inside.  _This is a good a place as any other, he thought.  __Wonder where I am ... Another minute in that storm and Jiro would of had to track down the piglet, P-chan, while hauling Ryouga's gear along with her own._

                "Hey, Ryouga!  While you're standing there, close the door!"

                Ryouga looked up and saw Ukyou and a stranger at the counter.

                "Oh -- Hi Ukyou.  What brings you here?"

                "Ryouga you jackass!  This is my restaurant you're standing in.  Now close the door!"

                "Oh -- sorry.  Heh, heh."  Blushing, Ryouga quickly pushed the sliding door closed.

                Ukyou started another okonomiyaki on her grill.  "So tell me, Lost Boy, why are you here?"

                Ryouga grinned and blushed as he answered.

                "Actually, I just wanted a warm, dry spot to stay as I waited for Jiro to find me."  He shook the rain off his umbrella.  "I didn't even know that this was your shop.  I just entered the first restaurant that I saw..." he sniffed at the cooking food.  "Um, Ukyou, I don't suppose I could have some of that?"

                "Sure, Sugar, if you have the cash, most of my dishes are already done, and the business day is almost over."

                Ryouga reached into a pocket of his dark green pants and out a few bills and some coins.  He counted it out to himself.  He grinned as he walked to the counter and dropped the money in front of the cook.

                "I have 1,360,050 yen.  That _should be enough for a meal, don't you think?"_

                Ukyou's eyes opened wide.  "Do you always carry this much pocket change on you?"

                "No, not always.  Anyway," here Ryouga grinned, "who's gonna try and steal it from me?"

                "Good point."  Ukyou finished the dish and handed it to him.  "Here ya go, one okonomiyaki with no pork, just like you have always ordered it."

                "Thanks."  Ryouga sat down next to the brown hair boy and started eating.

                Jiro sighed as she walked down the empty streets of the marketplace_.  I hope he managed to find a dry place to stay.  It wasn't as if she couldn't find her brother when he was P-chan -- in fact Ryouga's chi was the same in either form.  It was just that she would come across his backpack and clothes and be obliged to carry them with her until she caught up to him._

                _I wonder who the other guy is?  Jiro got a description of the other boy from the police officer.  He sure wasn't that older man who knew what was going on in Nerima, but he knew the difference between a yellow and black bandanna and a plain red one.  According to the man, the other boy also had the same rotten sense of direction.  __I wonder if he's related to Oniisan.  __It would be nice to have a cousin too.  She looked up and realised that she was headed towards Ucchan's.  __Oh good, I'll be able to get something to eat too._

                Ranma-chan was trudging through the marketplace on her way home to the dojo.  _How dare she?  It was hell trying to get out of the area where she landed.  It was bad enough being sent into flight by Akane, but landing in the infamous Tomobiki district then getting rained on made things even worse.  He, then a she was suddenly grabbed by an overly hyper boy about her own age.  She managed to knock him off, only to be electrocuted as the lech ran off by one of those obnoxious aliens that she had seen on the television._

                "Don't you dare hurt my Darling!" the alien shouted as she zapped Ranma some more.  Then she flew off after the retreating young pervert calling "Daaarling, wait for me!"

                Now that the worse was over, Ranma was happy to be on her way home.  But then again, she decided that she wasn't up to hearing another lecture of treating the fiancée right from either her father or Soun Tendou.  She looked up and saw the okonomiyaki shop in the distance.  _Hey!  Looks like it's still open.  I'll hang with Ucchan for a while, then I'll go home._

                Jiro opened the door to the restaurant.  Sure enough, there was Ryouga.  With him were Ukyou and a brown hair boy with a huge backpack next to him.  They all looked up when she entered.

                "Welcome, Jiro-chan!"  called Ukyou.  "Come in and get something to eat."

                "Thanks, Ukyou-san, I will.  Hi Oniisan!" she called out to Ryouga.

                "Hey, Jiro.  I don't suppose you have the patch-kit in your pack, do you?"

                "I think I do ... Thanks Ukyou-san," Jiro said as she received her okonomiyaki.  "Why do you ask?"

                Ryouga shrugged.  "My tent's got another hole in it."

                "Told ya you should've gotten a new one."

                "I guess I should have."

                Jiro looked at the other boy, who was staring at her.  His description matched the one the police officer gave her.

                "You're the other Lost Boy, aren't you?" she asked around a mouthful of food.

                "Uh ... I guess so," replied the brown-hair boy.

                Ryouga and Ukyou looked towards Jiro with surprise.

                "I asked a policeman if he'd seen a boy with a backpack and umbrella, wearing a bandanna, and he asked which one was I looking for."  The blond-hair girl grinned.  "There's not too many people who proceed to go in the wrong direction after being given specific instructions."

                The boy blushed.

                "Anyway," continued Jiro, "I'm Jiro, this is my big brother, Hibiki Ryouga.  And you are ...?"

                "Hii ...ah, Iikiba, I'm Iikiba."

                "As in literally "_good fangs", like Oniisan's name, huh?  His name means "__good fangs" and your name really is "__good fangs"!  That is really cool!"_

                "Uh, Thanks."

                "Your family name wouldn't be Hibiki by any chance, would it?"

                "Ah..." Iikiba started to blush.

                "Leave him alone Jiro!  I don't have a cousin named Iikiba."  Ryouga was just as red-faced.

                Jiro looked hurt.  Tears started to fill up in her eyes.  Quickly, her _brother moved to remedy the situation._

                "Jiro, I'm sorry.  It's just that I have never heard about having a cousin with the same uh, problem that I do.  I didn't mean to yell."

                "But I thought it was possible ... with the similarities that both of you have..." she sniffled.

                Iikiba interrupted.

                "I understand, Jiro-san, but I'm not you brother's cousin.  Though I understand how you would think so."

                "Oh."

                The rookie looked out into the rain from inside the shelter of the koban.  _Weird place, he thought.  __How could sergeant Yamato stand it?  People in strange clothing, boys with no sense of direction, and not two minutes ago, a panda carrying groceries strolled by.  He was pondering the situation when he heard someone clearing his voice behind him.  He turned and saw a young man wearing a raincoat and backpack, carrying a pole and a water-bucket._

                "Excuse me," said the newcomer, "I'm looking for someone...."

                "Yes...?" The rookie was hoping to help someone normal, but the sight of the wooden water-bucket dashed that hope.

                "I'm looking for a girl dressed in blue, carrying a backpack and umbrella.  She's probably travelling with a guy dressed in yellow and green or trying to find him.  Have you seen her?"  The boy was talking with a fiery intensity.

                "Yes, I did.  I sent her towards Furinkan High School.  That way."  The rookie was glad to help as long it got this weird boy out of his face.

                "Thanks."  

                The boy turned and muttered to himself about finally getting to kill the girl and go back home.  

                The rookie then wondered if, perhaps, he made a mistake.

                Ranma-chan entered the restaurant, surprised to see Ukyou serving Ryouga and Jiro, not to mention some other guy.  Then again, Ucchan's is a restaurant and Ukyou would have to serve customers in order to remain in business.  And Ryouga and Jiro were definitely customers.  The other guy looked familiar as well, but Ranma couldn't place him.

                "Hey, Ucchan!  Got any of that for me?"  

                "Hi Ranchan.  Coming right up!"

                "And some hot water too."  Ukyou set a kettle on the counter and Ranma picked it up, poured it onto herself, and returned to masculine form.  The brown-hair boy watched with amusement, but not surprise.  Ranma wondered about that for half a second, then shoved the idea to the back of his mind where it promptly became lost.  As he waited for Ukyou to cook up his order, Ranma turned to Ryouga, just to start up a "friendly" conversation.

                "Hey P-chan, I heard that you were looking for me again today..."

                "Shut-up, Ranma.  I'm trying to eat here. Who's P-chan, anyway?"

                "You know who I mean, Porky.  I understand it took you over one and a half hours to travel three blocks."  Ranma smirked.  "Why don't you admit that you can't get _anywhere without Jiro holdin' your hand."_

                "Ranchan, I don't want you and Ryouga to fight in here.  My insurance doesn't cover it."  Ukyou place Ranma's meal onto a plate and set it on the counter.

                "Ranma-san, he hasn't eaten all day, please don't provoke him.  I won't be able to stop him."  Jiro voice was slightly nervous as she imagined the potential damages.

                "Oh, look, the Lost Boy's got all these people to protect him..."

                "Ranma," Ryouga sighed.  "Earlier, I wanted to pound on you.  But right now I'm hungry and I want to eat.  Pick on me tomorrow, I'll beat the crap out of you then."

                Ranma was too involved in trying to get Ryouga's dander up.  It's been a rough day, he remembered that moment when he was being groped as a girl by a guy his own age.  A good man to man fight was just what he needed to prove his manliness, and to set things right in his own mind.

                "Can't you fight me, P-chan?  Or aren't you _man enough to do it, Piii..."_

                Ranma was suddenly grabbed and pinned against the wall.

                "Ow!  What the..."  Ranma looked at the tip of the red umbrella pointed at his throat.  He realised that it wasn't Ryouga's bamboo one and as he looked up the length of it, he was surprised to see the brown-hair boy holding it.

                "Excuse me, Ranma-san.  You have been asked to behave yourself during your stay in here."  The boy's voice was soft.  "No one else is interested in a fight.  Ukyou-san, the owner of the restaurant, said 'No'.  The person you challenged, Ryouga-san said 'No'.  Jiro-san said 'No'.  And I would also like to finish my meal in peace.  So if you please..."

                Ranma nodded and the boy lowered his umbrella. 

                "Okay, you win this one, but it isn't over between me and Ryouga, nor you and me.  Got it?"

                The boy shrugged.  "Whatever..."  The boy looked towards Ukyou.  

                "So have you reconsidered my request, Ukyou-san?"

                Ukyou shook her head.

                "Sorry, Sugar, but unless you give me more information, or something more believable, I can't help you."

                The boy sat back down and finished his meal in disappointed silence.

                Ranma slinked back to his seat, sat down and began to eat, all the while glaring at the brown-hair boy and at Ryouga.

                The boy sighed when he finished eating.  Then he got up and began to strap his umbrella back onto his backpack.

                "All right, I'll consider what you said.  What do I owe you?"

                "Five hundred, fifty yen."  Ukyou replied.

                "Okay, just as soon as I finish here."  The boy was struggling with a broken strap.

                Ryouga looked at the umbrella.  It was western styled, same as Jiro's except for the colour.

                "Nice umbrella," he commented.

                "Thanks," replied the boy.  "It's a gift from my aunt."

                Ranma was watching the two boys, eating his okonomiyaki and sulking_.  The brown-hair guy seems so familiar, but I just can't place him.  _

                "You realise, of course," started Ranma, "that it's still raining.  Right?"

                The boy looked at the newly knotted strap then bonked his head with the heel of his hand.

                "D'oh!  I forgot.  Thanks."

                Ukyou watched Iikiba struggle with the knot on his pack, trying to free his umbrella.  _Strange guy, she thought. __ Kinda slow at times, but polite all the same.  She watched as the boy yank the umbrella free from its straps then proceed to pull money out of his pants pocket, and began to count it out.  The money looked odd, different than any styled of yen or any other currency that she ever seen before.  She was about to comment about not taking foreign currency, when all of a sudden, the door to the restaurant crashed down and five burly men wearing leather and chains pushed through.  They surrounded the five teens and pulled out various weapons ranging from knives to chains to nunchuks.  Ranma, Ryouga and Jiro stopped eating and looked at the intruders with interest._

                "Who the hell are you guys?  And why'd you break in here like that?"  demanded Ukyou.  

                The leader of the gang stepped forward.

                "Pardon us," he said.  "We're insurance brokers, an' we're here to collect our first payment."

                "I hate to break it to you, Sugar, but I'm already insured."  Ukyou reached behind her and grabbed the handle of her spatula.

                "You don't understand," the leader went on, "It works like this: You pay us ¥100,000 now and we'll insure that your nice restaurant will not be destroyed tonight."

                Ukyou's grip tightened on her spatula, Ryouga, Iikiba and Jiro grabbed their umbrellas and Ranma slid off his stool and crouched into a ready position.

                "Yeah right," growled Ukyou.  "Why don't you make me?"

                "Uh uh, sweetheart, you don't wanna do that."  The leader pulled a sawed off shotgun from inside his trench-coat.  "Why don't you pay up like a nice little girl and we won't have to get rough.  Tell your friends not to do anything that you might regret."  He aimed the gun directly at Ukyou.  

                Ukyou let go of her spatula, Jiro and the boys released their umbrellas and Ranma stayed in his stance but now seemed less sure of himself.

                "Look out!  Cops!"  someone shouted.  All heads turned towards the door.  There was a sudden _thwip! thwip! thwip! thwip! sound, and when everyone looked back they saw the gun damaged on the floor and the leader pinned to the wall with tiny spatulas._

                "Nice throwing Ucchan," commented Ranma.

                "That wasn't me."  

                "Huh?"  

                "I didn't have any throwing spatulas on me."  Ukyou was just as perplexed as to who did the throwing.  No one that she knew of had the skill with the little spatulas.  So that left the one person that she didn't know so well.

                She looked towards Iikiba, who was ready to throw the rest of his spatulas at any of the other gang members who would dare to attack.

                "Who's next," he growled menacingly.

                The remaining gang members inched towards the door.  Once they crossed the threshold, they ran out into the street, screaming.

                Iikiba shook his head.  "Dumb asses."  He stood up.  "I'll leave the other one for you to take care of, Ukyou-san.  So what do I owe you?"

                Ukyou remembered the odd money, then realised that one dish of okonomiyaki was cheap compared to the price of the damage that could have happened this afternoon.

                "It's on the house Sugar," she replied.  "I guess it's the least I could do after what you just did.  Come back tomorrow and we'll talk about the recipe."

                "Ah ... Thanks Ukyou-san.  Good-bye.  Good-bye, Ryouga-san, Jiro-san, Ranma-san."  He turned to the thug still hanging on the wall.  He waved a small spatula under the wallflower's nose.

                "I may be good with these, but Ukyou-san is even better.  So it's best that you don't come back."

                With that, Iikiba left.

                Ranma watched as the boy left.  _I should know that guy; I've seen him before.  He pondered for a moment then turned to Ukyou._

                "Who was that guy?" he asked.  "What's this about a recipe?"

                Ukyou shrugged. 

                "He says that his name is..."  Ukyou never got to finish her sentence as Akane stomped through the doorway screaming.

                "Ranma!  There you are!  Why am I not surprised that you're here while I've got dinner on the table?"

                "You cooked dinner?" asked Ranma, who then proceeded to say something stupid.  "Then I'm glad that I had eaten some real food first!"

                The room went suddenly very quiet.  Ryouga and Jiro stopped eating.  Ukyou paused in her cleaning of the grill.  Ranma _then realised that he just said something stupid.  _

                Akane stood very still, a red energy building up around her.  She pulled out her huge mallet from whatever sub-dimensional pocket that she kept it in.

                "Ranma, you jerk!" She yelled as she clobbered her fiancé through the front door and into the rain.  "Just how insensitive can you get?!?"

                Ranma grunted as he, now a she, had her impromptu flight suddenly terminated by a cement wall.

                "I don't know," she retorted to Akane's question as she quickly recovered.  "How more macho can _you get?"_

                "Why don't we find out?!?" screamed Akane as she swung the mallet.  Ranma ducked, turned and ran all the way home.

                Ukyou watched the commotion from her doorway.  _At least the door was already down when Akane belted Ranchan through it.  She shook her head.  As much as she loved Ranchan, there are times when he really puts his foot in his mouth, and this was definitely one of those times.  She turned back to her remaining customers.  Ryouga and Jiro were double-checking their backpacks.  As Ukyou approached Ryouga looked up._

                "Why does she put up with him like that?" he asked.  

                "I think its love," said Jiro. Ukyou and Ryouga pointedly ignored her.

                "She deserves better," he continued.  "I wouldn't treat her like that."

                Ukyou sighed.

                "Yeah, I know, Sugar.  And I would be a better wife for Ranchan.  Maybe soon, they would both realise that we'd be better for them than they would be for each other."  She sighed again.

                "Yeah."  Ryouga pulled out his money.  "How much do I owe you?"

                "¥990 for you and Jiro-chan both."

                "Only that much?"  Ryouga sounded surprised.

                "Didn't you know?  I give special discounts to friends and allies."

                "Oh?  Well then, in that case…"

                Ryouga placed a thousand-yen note on the counter with a few ¥50 coins.

                "What's this?" asked Ukyou.

                "A tip," replied Ryouga.  "Gotta give credit where credit is due.  Besides, for the dishes you make, it would kinda be dishonourable not to pay some sort of tribute." 

                 Ukyou grinned.  "Thanks Sugar."

                Jiro was at the door.

                "C'mon, Oniisan!  The wind's died down, we should be going."

                "Yeah, coming!"  Ryouga turned to the proprietor of the restaurant.  "See you around, Ukyou."

                "You too, Ryouga," Ukyou replied.  "See you Jiro-chan!"

                "Bye Ukyou-san!  Thanks for dinner!"  Jiro opened her umbrella as she stepped through the door, Ryouga followed her.


	3. Iikiba's Secret

**Recipe of Disaster** Niki (NeeP) Paradis 

Chapter Three:  Iikiba's Secret.

                Iikiba walked down the street, umbrella held over him.  He was heading in no particular direction.  He was disappointed that he couldn't get the recipe, yet at the same time, he knew that he couldn't blame Ukyou for her decision. _ I wish I could have told her everything, he thought,__ but she wouldn't be able to handle the truth, and it might have spoiled everything. _

                He looked down the street for an empty lot, wooded area, park or anyplace, which he could set up for the night.  He couldn't see any of those types of places.  Instead, there were a lot of cars zooming past, and drivers screaming at him to get out of the middle of the intersection.  As a car raced towards him, Iikiba decided that getting off the road would be an excellent idea.  He leaped onto the roof of the oncoming car and rebound off it onto the sidewalk, his umbrella held high above him at all times and narrowly missing the spray of water that the passing vehicle created.  _The last thing that I need right now is to get wet, he thought._

                He resumed his search for a campsite.  As he walked, he wondered about how he was going to return home.  He thought about what he said to Ukyou -- _A place __far away indeed, he snorted.  Then he wondered whether or not his parents sent anyone after him.  In a way, he hoped so, even though it was very embarrassing to be taken home like a toddler.  But with help, at least he would reach home._

                He quickly avoided a splash of water.  An old woman was watering the ground before her property.  Iikiba cursed.  _Why the hell is she doing this in the rain?  He leaped out the way as more water came towards him, determined to remain dry.  But as he landed, he slipped on the wet cement and landed into a puddle, and his reason to stay dry suddenly became moot._

                Jiro was running down the street.

                "C'mon Oniisan, I want to get to the park before the wind picks up again," she called out behind her.

                "I'm coming!" replied Ryouga.

                Jiro listened to the rain as it fell.  It hinted at the upcoming breeze.

                "Wind's picking up again."  Then she felt the wind blowing the rain onto her back and soaking her tunic.

                "Oniisan, are you all still with me?"  When there was no answer, she looked behind her to find Ryouga's pack and clothes on the ground, the umbrella upside-down and no little black pig in sight.

                "Ah, damn," she muttered to herself, "not again."

                Jakku Mizuno decided to put his hunt for Jiro on hold as his stomach started to grumble.  _Damn her!  His raincoat was keeping him dry, but barely, and the cold was getting to him.  He decided to blame Jiro for his present discomfort as well as the reason he has been forced to chase her for the past five years.  After all, if Jiro hadn't spilt the bucket, he wouldn't have had to follow that stupid law which said that he had to kill her, and he wouldn't be standing in the rain right now.  __Why did you have to drop the sacred water?  I just want to go home.  His stomach grumbled again.  Jakku sighed, he hardly had enough money on him to buy food, and his supplies were practically gone.  He had no idea on how he was going to get the funds to feed himself._

                He looked down the sidewalk and saw a backpack in the middle of a puddle.  _I wonder if it belongs to that Hibiki guy that Jiro's travelling with.  With the rain coming down as hard as it was, it would be no surprise if the guy shifted into his Jusenkyou form and got lost immediately afterwards. _

                With his education of water, he has been instructed in the knowledge about the various forms of water-spells, enchantments and curses, but Jakku always believed that the Jusenkyou curses were a myth, until Jiro started following the guy with no sense of direction.  Then he saw what water could do to such an individual. 

                He reached the backpack and saw a pile of clothes and umbrella next to it.  The clothes weren't yellow and green like he expected, but red and grey.  _Oh well, thought Jakku, __Finders-Keepers.  He reached into the pocket of the pants and pulled out some money.  Then he snorted in disgust when he realised that money he was holding was different from any Japanese yen that he knew of.  __Now what do I do? he wondered.  Then he saw the tag on the backpack.  It read:_

**If found (and if you can pick it up), please**

** return backpack and surrounding articles to :**

**Ucchan's Okonomiyaki Restaurant **

**for one free meal of okonomiyaki,**

** the best in Japan!**

                Jakku grinned.  _At least that's something.  He knew where the restaurant was and that the food there was extremely good.  He won't starve tonight, providing he could get the backpack and other stuff to the restaurant on time before it closes.  He picked up, grunting under the weight, grabbed the clothes and umbrella and started walking towards Ucchan's._

                Ranma-chan sighed.  She was presently hiding from the wrath of Akane and her Mallet of Justice in a nearby alley.  _Why do these things always happen to me?  She had not forgotten that she avoided dinner, insulted Akane and her cooking.  But as far as she was concerned, Ranma's fiancée attacked her for no reason._

                "Stupid Tomboy," she muttered.

                As if in response to her comment, a force crashed into her stomach like a thrown bowling ball.  Ranma lost her footing and crashed to the ground.  She sat stunned for a moment then looked down at the small black pig that had just bowled into her.  Then she grabbed him by the yellow and black bandanna around his neck and gave him a shake.

                "Ryouga!  Why the hell did you do that for?"

                P-chan squealed angrily while squirming in Ranma's grasp trying to scratch her with his hooves.

                Ranma gave the pig a dirty look.

                "Look," she said.  "It ain't my fault that Akane can't take any constructive criticism."  In response, P-chan squealed some more.  Ranma thought about something for a moment, then re-addressed the pig in a more reasonable tone.

                "Listen, I gotta ask you something about that guy at Ucchan's, y'know, the brown-hair one with the umbrella and spatulas."

                P-chan stopped squirming and looked back at Ranma-chan.

                "I've seen him before, I know I have, I just can't place him."  She turned and started to head towards the dojo.

                Ukyou was just about to lock up for the night.  The police had already come and removed the hanging thug just a little while ago, and the last customer had just left.  But when she reached the newly fixed door, she was surprised by a hulking silhouette stepping into the shop.  However, when the figure stepped through the threshold and into the light, he turned out to be Jakku Mizuno with an extra backpack and umbrella that looked familiar.

                "Sorry Sugar, I'm just closing," she said to him.

                "Wait, Kuonji-san, I have this," he gestured to the backpack.

                "It's nice, Sugar, but it ain't mine."

                "I know," Jakku dropped the pack onto the floor.  "But look at this."  He held out the tag that was fastened to one of the zippers.

                Ukyou recognised the umbrella and backpack as Iikiba's.  Then she read the tag.

                "...For one free meal of okonomiyaki ... Why that JACKASS!  I'm going to kill that jerk!"

                Jakku's face fell.

                "Does this mean I won't get the okonomiyaki?" he asked.

                Ukyou snapped out of her ranting and looked at him.  

                "Of course you will," she said.  "Just because I'm furious at Iikiba-san doesn't mean I'm gonna let a stupid tag make me a liar.  I'll give you the meal and make him pay for it!"

                She closed the door to make sure that there won't be anyone else coming in, then she made the okonomiyaki.  She slid it onto a plate and set it in front of Jakku.

                "Thanks," he replied as he started to dig in.

                While Jakku was eating, Ukyou was trying to get Iikiba's pack onto one of the few tables so she could sweep the floor.  She was amazed at how heavy the backpack was. _ What does this guy keep in this thing?  Boulders?_

                "Kuonji-san?"  Jakku interrupted her thoughts.

                "Hmm?"

                "Could you tell me which way Jiro went?"

                "Sorry, no."  She managed to shove the pack onto the table.

                "How about which way Hibiki-san went."

                "Uh-uh, Sugar, you're not tricking me into telling you that.  You're a nice guy, but this obsession with trying to kill Jiro-chan has got to stop."  Ukyou grabbed a broom and started to sweep.

                Jakku sighed.

                "Believe me, I wish I could."

                He finished his meal and pushed his plate away.

                "Thank-you, Kuonji-san, for giving me this meal even with the misunderstanding."

                "No problem, Sugar.  You take care."

                Jakku left.

                The rookie was checking to see if the koban was in respectable shape before his shift was done for the night.  He still had an hour or so to go but tidiness was a trademark of the Tokyo police.  He was shaken by the weirdness that he encountered during the day and it would be a relief to go home to his wife and a home-cooked meal.  That, at least, was normal: his normal wife in a normal place doing normal things.  No more weird martial-artists, lost boys, or other such nonsense.

                He sighed.  Unfortunately, he would be back at this post in the morning.  He reverently wished, again, that Sergeant Yamato hadn't broken his leg.  The story that the senior officer gave involved an old man, a bag of women's undergarments, a few bombs and a falling telephone pole.  The rookie wasn't sure if he believed the story or not.

                 According to the old sergeant, bruises and fractures were part of the Furinkan patrol.  That was why the hazard pay was so high.  But the posting did have its perks.  Yamato-san boasted that in the town of Furinkan, a spectator could witness the best display of martial arts, in all its glory and diversity, to be seen outside of a Jackie Chan film.  The rookie sighed again.  He didn't get a chance to see any of the battles that are said to occur in his patrol.  Instead, he had to direct people to their destinations.

                He was interrupted out his musings by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

                "Excuse me..."

                He turned to see a fourteen-year-old girl staring at him.  He groaned inwardly.  _Not another weirdo ...  _

                The girl in front of him was wearing a bright yellow wrap, and brown tights.  On her feet were soft martial-artist shoes with buckles and she wore a bandoleer around her chest.  Her long black hair was in pigtails and kept behind her ears by a plain yellow bandanna.  She was soaked through.  What surprised him was the oversized spatula on her back.  It looked sharp, like it could be used as a dangerous weapon.

                "I'm looking for my brother," she said.  "He's sixteen, carrying a large backpack, red umbrella..."

                The rookie interrupted.

                "Red bandanna, or yellow and black?"

                Ukyou had finished sweeping.  She sat down at the table and look glumly at Iikiba's backpack.  She knew that she should be doing her homework, but she couldn't bring herself to do it yet.  She was too busy being pissed off and confused at the strange boy.  She stared at the tag tied onto the zipper.

                _I don't get it, she thought__.  He's got to be hiding something.  __Yet the tag says that my okonomiyaki is the best in Japan.  What is his angle?  _

                She looked at the backpack again.  Then she looked at the clothes and umbrella.  Then something occurred to her.

                _Iikiba's backpack holds the truth about Iikiba, she thought.  __There's probably something in that heavy thing that will tell me if he's telling the truth.  However, she realised, that would be trespassing against his privacy.  Besides, she had homework to do.  The last thing that she wanted to do was to leave it until the last minute on Monday morning, not get it done because of the breakfast crowd and piss off Hinako-sensei -- she just wouldn't be able to handle the punishment that the diminutive teacher would dish out.  She got up and went to get her homework._

                Akane was at the gate of the Tendou dojo, waiting for Ranma to show up.  She was very, very unhappy.

                "I'm gonna kill that jerk!" she growled softly to herself.  She was holding her mallet in a tight grip, tensed to strike at the individual that deserved her wrath.

                "The nerve of that jerk!  First he's hanging all over Ukyou, then he insults my cooking, and now he won't take his punishment like the man he says he is."

                She saw a movement out of the corner of her eye.  She raised her mallet.  She tensed up, waiting for Ranma to show his face.

                A small black piglet turned the corner.  All of the anger and tenseness ran out of her.

                "Ooh, P-chan!  Where have you been?"  Akane dropped the mallet in her rush to scoop up the piglet.  She barely noticed that the bandanna that the pig was wearing was different.

_                Ukyou stared at the trigonometry problem before her.  It sat in front of her, refusing to solve itself for her.  Normally, she would have no problem with math, but she just couldn't focus on it.  She looked towards Iikiba's pack, now resting against the wall.  She was really curious about what was inside.  Then she guiltily turned back to her trig problem and sighed._

                She started to work it out, when she smelled something ... well, funky.  She looked around and her eyes rested on the pile of damp clothes that Jakku brought in with the backpack.  She decided that she ought to hang the clothes up to dry proper so that the musty smell could go away.  She got up from the table that she was working at and walked towards the offending pile.  She wondered if Iikiba was walking around naked in Nerima.  She picked up the red tank top, wrung it out into a bucket and hung it over a chair to dry.  She wrung out the socks as well. 

                As she picked up the pants, a whole bunch of stuff fell out of the pockets and onto the floor.  This included a bunch of that strange money that Iikiba was going to pay for his meal with, some of those small spatulas and a wallet.  

                Ukyou froze.  She stared at the wallet.  Then she proceeded to wring out the pants, and hang them on the chair, all the while she was staring at the wallet.  Her conscience and curiosity was warring inside her.  She needed to know Iikiba's secret, yet she knew that she should mind her own business.

                The internal struggle went on for about a minute.

                Curiosity won out.

                Ukyou brought the wallet back to the table with her homework on it.  She pushed the annoying trig problem out of her way.  She opened the wallet and started to look for ID.

                She found it and read the name at the top.

**                                                                Name:  Hibiki Iikiba**

                She laughed. _ Somehow, I am not surprised in the least, she thought, remembering Iikiba's directional problem. __ I wonder why he wouldn't admit it though.  _

                She looked at the card again and continued to read it.

The identification read as followed:

                                                                **Name:  Hibiki Iikiba**

**                                                                DOB:  10th Month, 16th Day, Year 2001**

**                                                                Hair:  Brown**

**                                                                Eyes:  Hazel**

                Ukyou stared at the card in shock. _ That can't be right …  __Iikiba was born five years from now?  He's from the future?  She took a deep breath and proceeded to read the rest of the card._

                The address was identical to that of her restaurant.

                She couldn't believe it.

                She looked for other ID to see if they were all consistent.

                She found a school ID that listed Iikiba as a member of Furinkan High School for the year of 2017.

                She then remembered the conversation between Jiro, Ryouga and Iikiba from earlier.

_                Jiro had asked the boy his name._

_                "Hii ...ah, Iikiba, I'm Iikiba," he replied._

_                "As in literally "good fangs", like Oniisan's name, huh?  His name means "good fangs" and your name really is "good fangs"!  That is really cool!"_

                _"Uh, thanks."_

_                "Your family name wouldn't be Hibiki by any chance, would it?" asked Jiro._

_                "Ah..."  Iikiba started to blush._

_                "Leave him alone Jiro!  I don't have a cousin named Iikiba."  Ryouga was just as red-faced._

_                Jiro looked hurt.  Tears started to fill up in her eyes._

_                "Jiro, I'm sorry.  It's just that I have never heard about having a cousin with the same uh, problem that I do.  I didn't mean to yell."  Ryouga was stammering his apology._

_                "But I thought it was possible ... with the similarities that both of you have..." she sniffled._

_                Iikiba interrupted her._

_                "I understand, Jiro-san, but I'm not you brother's cousin.  Though I understand how you would think so."_

_                "Oh."_

                Ukyou figured that what Iikiba said was weird.  She was figuring things out in her mind.

                _He is a Hibiki but not Ryouga's cousin.  And if he's from the future, like this card says, could that mean that he might be Ryouga's son?  That would be wild.  It was possible, she figured, after all, they both have practically the same name, both were spelled almost identically in kanji, except in Iikiba's name, there was an extra hiragana "i" between "yoi" (good) and "kiba" (fang) which composed both of the boys' names.  They even had the 'good fangs' that they were both named after._

                She also remembered what Iikiba said after Ryouga complemented his umbrella.

_                Iikiba was struggling with a broken strap, which secured his umbrella to his backpack._

_                Ryouga was looking at the umbrella.  It was western styled, same as Jiro's except for the colour._

_                "Nice umbrella," he commented._

_                "Thanks," replied the boy.  "It's a gift from my aunt."_

****

                Ukyou thought about it a little harder.  Iikiba's umbrella was almost identical to Jiro's.  Except that hers was blue and his was red. And Iikiba said that his aunt gave him his umbrella.

_                 So if I am right and Iikiba is Ryouga's son, I guess that would make Jiro his aunt.  She was very proud of her deduction.  __But who would his mother be then?  She looked towards the backpack again.  __If Iikiba's like Ryouga, then he probably would have pieces of his life in that huge pack of his, wouldn't he?  Then she remembered her homework.  Her trigonometry problem simply lay on the table unobtrusive, unthreatening and unfinished._

                She sighed. _ Homework first, Ukyou-girl.  And besides, it's not a good thing to know about the future nor to invade Iikiba's privacy.  She sat down at the table again, and stared at the textbook without seeing it.  There was a muffled thump.  She looked and saw that the backpack had fallen from its position on the table and onto the floor.  She sighed and pushed her trig problem away from her.  __That damn backpack is calling me.  I'll find time to do this tomorrow.  **I will!  she promised herself.**_

                She stood up, swallowed and proceeded to walk towards the pack.  When she reached it, she stopped and looked at it again.

                _Last chance, Ukyou-girl, she thought. __ It's not too late to back out.  She nudged the backpack with her toe.  __Aah, the hell with it.  With that she dragged the pack back to the table that she was working at, sat down and opened it up.            _

                The top half of the pack contained camping stuff -- a tent, a portable stove, water bottle, sleeping bag, small pots and pans, dishes, instant noodles and other stuff.  She pulled it all out.  Underneath that, she found a burgundy-coloured tunic.  Ukyou pulled it out and unfolded it.  It was longed sleeved and wide-necked with white cuffs.  The collar of the tunic fastened in a familiar fashion over the right breast using shiny black snaps.  There were snaps on the cuffs as well.

                _Too familiar to be coincidence, thought Ukyou as she re-folded the tunic, and placed it on the table.  _

                Under the tunic, there was a bandoleer, Ukyou brought it out and examined it.  It was almost identical to hers.  However, whereas the back of her bandoleer was equipped with small hooks for her to clip on her huge spatula, the one she was examining had hooks of different sizes, one large and one smaller.  Ukyou was confused about that for a moment then she figured about it.  _Of course, she realised, __for his umbrella!  _

                Under that was another pair of grey slacks identical to the pair that she was presently drying out.  There was a school uniform, a red T-shirt and a pair of overalls.  There were also socks, underwear, a pair of pyjamas and towels and washcloths and a pair of white sneakers.  

                Underneath all that, she then found a miniature photo-album in a zip-lock bag.  Her hands shook as she carefully brought it out.  _This is it! she thought.  She opened the bag and brought the album out.          __Okay, here we go!  She took a deep breath and opened the book somewhere in the middle. She looked down at one of the two pictures in front of her.  _

                She looked at the one on the right.  In it was a four-year boy with brown hair being held by a young man about twenty-five years old with long black hair tied in a pony-tail.  Ukyou admired the appearance of the young man in the photo until she spotted the yellow and black bandanna that he was wearing.

                She was shocked back into reality.

                _That's Ryouga?  She looked again._

                Dressed in a simple mustard-yellow long-sleeved shirt and dark-green slacks, Ryouga simply stood smiling in front of the camera, holding his umbrella and the boy.  His hazel eyes were bright and full of pride.  The happy little boy was wearing a red shirt and overalls.  His shaggy bangs were kept out of his eyes with a bright red bandanna.  The little boy was holding onto Ryouga's shirt to keep himself from falling out of Ryouga's grasp and it looked like he was shouting something.  His tiny fangs were clearly visible in the photograph.

                _So the little guy's got to be Iikiba.  Ukyou grinned to herself.  __But look at Ryouga ... There's gonna be one lucky woman in the near future.  I hope Ranchan will mature as nicely._

                With her curiosity piqued, Ukyou looked at the photograph to the left.  The photo was of Akane's pet pig, P-chan and an even smaller piglet wearing a tiny red bandanna.  Ukyou carefully removed the photograph from the book, and looked at the back.

                **P-chan with Ga-chan was all it said.  Ukyou wondered why Iikiba would carry pictures of Akane's pet pig with him. **

                Ukyou flipped the page.  On the page to the right was a picture of the same brown-hair little boy standing in what appeared to be _her kitchen.  He was proudly holding out a plate with a tiny but perfect little okonomiyaki on it.  The back of the picture read:  **Iikiba-chan's first okonomiyaki in a peculiar type of handwriting that was familiar to her.**_

                _Why would the little guy be in my kitchen? she mused to herself.  Then she figured that if Ryouga was the one travelling with the little guy, he would seek shelter for his son wherever he could._

                The picture on the right was of a little girl about three years old with dark hair and teal-coloured eyes.  She had a striking resemblance to Ryouga.  She was wearing a bright yellow jump-suit and a plain yellow bandanna and she was holding the little pig that was wearing the red bandanna.  She was giving the piglet a bear hug and Ga-chan was desperately trying to wiggle his way out.

******Yoiko-chan with Ga-chan_ was what the handwriting said.  Ukyou grinned__.  Who knew that Ryouga had it in him, she thought.  __Wonder if the mother of these kids is the one taking these pictures ... Whoever she is._**

                She shut the book and re-opened it on a different page.  

                The picture that she opened the book to was that of a twelve-year-old Iikiba sparring or fighting with a boy with short red hair of the same age.   Iikiba was wearing grey slacks and a plain red T-shirt and he was wielding the same umbrella that she saw him carry earlier.  The redhead was dressed in a blue Chinese shirt and jeans.  The boy held nothing but looked confident.  They were fighting over the Tendou's koi pond.  The other boy's hand blocked Iikiba's umbrella, and the other boy's kick was blocked by Iikiba's free hand.  In the background was a ten-year-old Yoiko sitting with a girl her age with short blue-black hair on top of the wall.  Yoiko was wearing a bright yellow wrap and dark brown tights.  Her black hair was in two pigtails and secured behind her ears with the yellow bandanna.  The other girl, who had reddish brown hair, was wearing a denim skirt and a pale yellow Chinese-inspired shirt.  Both girls were cheering the boys on.  Sitting on ground was another girl with long brown hair of the same age as the other girls.  She was wearing a pink dress and her brown hair was done up in two ponytails on top of her head.  In her lap was a six-year-old boy with blond hair dressed in blue.  They were also cheering on the combatants.

                The back of the picture read as followed: **Me and Kanaeda-kun, fighting again -- Yoiko, Ranko-chan, Mizuko-chan and Oyu-chan are watching.  It was written in child's hand.**

                The picture on the on the other side was of a middle age couple dancing.  They danced as if they didn't know that anyone was watching, let alone taking their picture.  The man was tall, and muscular underneath the deep yellow shirt that he was wearing.  His thick hair was dark with a touch of grey and cut short.  The yellow and black bandanna marked him as Ryouga.  The woman was somewhat shorter than he was and her long greying brown hair was pinned up.  She wore a simple purple and lavender wrap with black tights.  She leaned into the elder Ryouga with a familiarity that could only be acquired by couples that have live and loved each other for a long time.

**                Tousan and Okaachan dancing.   Happy 15th anniversary, Hibiki Ryouga and Ukyou.**

                "No!" cried out Ukyou.  "That can't be!  I'm supposed to marry Ranchan, not Ryouga!"

                "You know, it's considered rude to go through other people's stuff."  

                Ukyou looked up.  In the now opened doorway, stood a girl slightly younger that her.  Her black hair was tied up in two pigtails and she was wearing a bright yellow wrap, dark brown tights and a plain yellow bandanna.  She was wearing a bandoleer with a huge spatula strapped to her back.  She was dripping water onto the floor.

                "How did you get in here?" asked Ukyou.  "The door was locked."

                The girl shrugged.  "I used my key."

                Ukyou looked at the girl sadly.  She recognised her from the photographs.

                "You're Yoiko-chan, right?"

                The girl stared at her, then recognition registered on her face.

                "You're Kaachan!"  She grinned, revealing a dainty pair of fangs.  "So it's all right for you to go through Oniichan's backpack."

                Ukyou winced slightly at this; it was more than slightly awkward for a girl just a couple years younger than her to call her '_Mommy'._

                Yoiko walked towards the chair that Iikiba's wet clothes were lying on.  She touched them and grimaced at the dampness of the articles.  She went to the table where the rest of the clothes and other items were.  She picked up the burgundy tunic, the grey slacks, clean pair of underwear, socks, the sneakers and a pair of short cords.  

                "You wouldn't happen to know where Oniichan went, would you?" she asked as she went into one of the side pockets of the backpack.

                "Oniichan?" asked Ukyou.  "You mean Iikiba?"

                "Yeah, him."  Yoiko pulled out a plastic shopping bag from the backpack and proceeded to put Iikiba's clothes into it.

                "Haven't got a clue."

                "Oh well."  Yoiko grabbed her brother's umbrella and walked to the door.  "I'll find him.  See you later."  She left the restaurant, locking the door behind her.

                Ukyou stared at the closed door for a moment.  Then, slowly, deliberately, she closed the photo-album, flipped it over so she could see the cover, opened it to the first page and started going through the photos from the beginning.


	4. Rub-a-Dub-Dub: Three Boys in the Tub

**Recipe of Disaster** Niki (NeeP) Paradis 

Chapter Four: Rub-a-Dub, Dub, Three Boys in the Tub.

                Ranma-chan was walking towards the dojo with P-chan in tow.  She saw Akane standing at the gate, waiting for her, while cooing to something that she held in her arms.  At the sound of her footsteps, Akane looked up.

                "Ranma," she growled.  "Where have you been?  You knew that you were supposed to be home by now."  She stopped ranting when she saw that Ranma was carrying P-chan.  "Why do you have P-chan?"  She then looked at the pig she was holding in her arms.  "Then who is this?"

                Ranma looked at the pig that Akane was holding.  This particular little black pig wore a simple red bandanna around his neck.  She had seen that pig before too and she knew where she had seen him.

                Everything fell into place.  The brown-hair boy, his abilities, and where s/he saw him before.  She bent over the pig and stared at him in wonder.

                "This is Ga-chan."

                "Who?" asked Akane.

                Another voice answered.

                "Ga-chan, son of P-chan."

                Akane, Ranma and the two pigs looked towards the voice of the newcomer.  A fourteen-year-old girl, wearing a yellow wrap and carrying a spatula and a red umbrella came walking towards them.  Her long damp hair was tied into pigtails and her yellow bandanna was soaked.  Her resemblance to Ryouga was startling.

                "This is your pig?" asked Akane.

                "You could say that," the girl answered.

                "Prove it!"

                While the girls were arguing, Ranma-chan grabbed the other pig from Akane's arms, and ran into the house.  Akane was so busy arguing that she didn't even noticed.  She raced through the front door and almost ran into Kasumi.  Kasumi dropped her duster, as she was startled.

                "Oh, Ranma," she said, "you startled me."

                "I'm sorry."

                "You missed dinner, but I thought you might like a bath, so I drew one for you."

                "Thanks."

                "Don't mention it."

                Ranma ran up the stairs and into the bathroom.  She shut the door behind her and looked at the hot bath.

                "I hope I'm right," she murmured to herself as she dropped both pigs into the water.  Seconds later, two human heads broke the surface.  One was Ryouga's, the other belonged to the brown-hair boy from the restaurant.  

                "I knew it!" she shouted.

                The boys looked at each other.

                "You!" started Ryouga.  

                "Relax, P-chan, I've got it figured out."  Ranma looked at the other boy as she got undressed.  "You're Hibiki Iikiba, right?"

                The boy blushed as red as his headband, more at Ranma-chan's casual nudity then at being found out.  Ryouga looked incredulous.

                "But, I don't have a cousin named Iikiba..."

                "Shut-up Ryouga," Ranma interrupted as she climbed into the tub with the others, instantly turning male.  "I want you to meet your son."  

**                "Uh, son...?" was Ryouga's intelligent reply.**

                "H-how did you know?" asked Iikiba.

                "First, tell me something," started Ranma, "are temporal anomalies normal for you too?"

                "Um, yeah."

                "Huh?" asked Ryouga.

                "I thought it was all a dream, but now I'm not sure."  Ranma began telling his story haltingly.  "Ryouga, remember the fight a few weeks ago where I was chasing you, but I was the one who got lost?"

                "Yeah, I do.  Nice to know I'm not the only one."

                "Uh, right.  Well anyway, I ran into a patch of glowing light, and found myself lost in the woods.  I walked for a ways until I found a campsite.  The campsite was built by Jiro.

                "Jiro was older, she was taller too.  Taller than any other girl that I know personally.  She wore her hair short like you do now, Ryouga, and she wore her headband the same way.  She wasn't alone though, with her was a little kid, 'bout four-years-old.  That was you, Iikiba. 

                "Well, anyway, I walked up to her and she recognised me but said that I was missing for five years, and that she and Iikiba-chan was waiting for his father, Ryouga.  So I'd offer to wait with her, just to get some answers from her.

                "In a bit, Iikiba-chan said that he had to go to the washroom and Jiro asked if I'd accompany him, since she had to wait for her brother and Iikiba had inherited his father's sense of direction, or lack of.  She told me not to let the little guy fall into the river and that if he did, I was not to panic and fish him out.

                "Well, Iikiba did fall into the river and he turned into a tiny piglet.  

                "Wait a minute!" yelped Ryouga.  "You mean to say that the curses get transferred to our children?!?"

                "No," said Iikiba.  "I fell into the newly reformed spring of 'drowned black piglet', when I was three."

                "That's a relief."

                "Well, anyway, that's how I recognised you, Iikiba.  I didn't recognised you as a sixteen year-old guy, but I remember the black piglet with the red bandanna."

                Ryouga looked at the brown-hair boy with mild curiosity and great scepticism.

                "So you're my son ...huh?  Then who's your mother?"

                "Um, I'm not sure if I should say..."

                Ranma interrupted.

                "Ryouga, you're so dense at times.  Remember how he handled those jerks back at the restaurant?  Who do you think he learned that from?"

                Ryouga remembered Iikiba's ability with the tiny throwing spatulas.

                "You learned that from your mother...?"  he asked bleakly.

                "Yeah, I did," Iikiba replied softly.

                "Oh no ..."  _Not Ukyou ... I'm supposed to marry Akane, ... or Akari ...  "No way!  There's no way that I would marry Ukyou. You both are trying to trick me!"_

                "Ryouga-san..." started Iikiba, when the door to the bathroom slammed open.

                "**Oniichan!"  With that shout the girl in yellow with the spatula burst into the washroom, waving a plastic bag filled with clothes.  She stopped short, however at the sight of three naked young men in the bathtub.  Her eyes opened wide and became as round as saucers.  Blood spurted from her nose and she dropped to the floor in a dead faint.  Ranma looked at the comatose girl, then back to his rival.**

                "Yep.  She's definitely one of yours, Ryouga," he commented.

                "Shut-up!"

                "Yoiko, you dummy..." Iikiba sighed.

**                "What's going on?" asked Akane from the doorway.**

                Both Ryouga and Iikiba turned red and tried to sink into the water, well as deep as they can go, considering the crowded circumstances.

                "Akane-san..." stammered Ryouga.

                "Ryouga-kun ... Why are you here?"  Akane had her eyes covered.

                "Oniisan, there you are."  Jiro popped into the washroom beside Akane.  She looked at all three boys, calmly and with interest.

                "Yoiko-chan and I had our talk," said Akane.  "She said that she was from the future and that she had to take her brother home."  She peeked through her fingers at Iikiba, who was still trying to disappear into the water.  "You are Iikiba-san right?"

                "Right," he burbled from the tub.

                "Why don't we let the boys get dressed first and we can continue this conversation around a nice cup of tea?" suggested Kasumi from behind the other girls.

                "Great idea, Oneechan," congratulated Nabiki.  "Maybe, we can get to the bottom of this, and get something profitable as well."

                All the girls left the washroom, except for Yoiko, who was still unconscious, and Jiro.  Jiro placed a pile of Ryouga's clothes on the shelf. 

                "These are the only clean clothes left, Oniisan.  We're going to have to get to the Laundromat soon."

                Ryouga grunted his agreement from the tub.

                Jiro then disentangled the plastic bag form Yoiko's fingers.

                "This looks like your clothes, Iikiba-san.  I'll leave them here with Oniisan's.  I'll take Yoiko-kun and leave."  She placed the clothes with Ryouga's and took Yoiko's shoulders and dragged her out of the washroom.  Before she closed the door, she called out to Ryouga.

                "Oniisan..."

                "What?"

                "You know, with your, um, attributes, I'm surprised that you don't have many girlfriends.  Just thought you should know."  Jiro shut the door.

                Ryouga's head disappeared under the surface of the water.

                On** their way downstairs, Jiro took the newly awakened Yoiko aside.**

                "You are Oniisan's future daughter, right?" she asked.

                "That's right, Auntie Ji," Yoiko replied.

                "What does 'Auntie' mean?"

                "It's an English form of 'aunt'," replied Yoiko.  Jiro stopped to look at her.

                "Am I really your aunt, in the future, or is that just an affectation?"

                "According to Touchan, you were adopted by his family shortly after your sixteenth birthday.  Kaachan said that the family celebrated in her restaurant."  Yoiko looked at Jiro, who was smiling, with tears running down her face.  "Auntie Ji, are you all right?"

                "Yes I am.  Thanks Yoiko-kun, you've made me so happy."

                The girls walked down the stairs a little further.

                "Um, Yoiko-kun?" asked Jiro.

                "Yes..."

                "In the future, does Akane-san know about Oniisan's curse?"

                "It's common knowledge to everyone."

                "Okay..." Jiro paused.  "At this time, Akane-san doesn't know about it.  Um ... Your brother's cursed as well, isn't he?"

                "Yep, he turns into a little black pig, just like Touchan."

                "Well, anyway, it would be a bad idea if you were to mention those curses in front of Akane-san, understand?  If she found out about Oniisan's secret, she would get mad, and Oniisan would get depressed.  You know about the Shi shi Houkoudan...?"

                Yoiko winced as though she imagined the damage that a full-blown chi-blast could do.

                "Aah ... I see what you're saying, Auntie Ji, I won't mention any curses."


	5. Night of Revelations and Business Deals

**Recipe of Disaster** Niki (NeeP) Paradis 

Chapter Five: Night of Revelations and Business Deals.

                Ukyou was going through Iikiba's photo album for a second time.  She has seen pictures of herself, of Ryouga, baby pictures of Iikiba and of Yoiko.  She saw pictures of Ranma's and Akane's children, Kanaeda and Ranko.  She looked at pictures of other children, such as Gel, a violet-hair amazon girl with thick glasses.  She looked at the images of the family of Jiro and Jakku, with their children, Mizuko and Oyu.

                _It's nice to know that Jakku won't be out to kill Jiro forever, at least, she thought.  _

                She looked at a photograph of Iikiba, as a toddler, pulling on one of Ryouga's ears. 

                _ It looks like the kid's got him by the tip of the ear, she commented to herself.  She paused before turning the page and looked again.  __Wait a sec, Ryouga doesn't have pointed ears, Jiro does.  _

                She flipped to that first picture she saw of Ryouga and Iikiba.  Sure enough, Ryouga's ear, the one closest to the camera, was just slightly pointed.  It was made more noticeable by the bandanna tied behind it.

                She then turned to the page with the picture of the older version of her and Ryouga dancing.

_                He has pointed ears here, too.  Wonder why I didn't notice that before._

                Looking at the pictures over and over helped numb Ukyou to the possibility of having her future fixed for her.  It also helped her to consider another possibility of what to do in case she lost the fight for Ranma to either Akane or Shampoo_.  Now that she realised that the Ryouga in the pictures could not possibly be the one from her timeline, she relaxed a bit, knowing that the future was not fixed.__  Not that I'm giving up on Ranchan, no way on that one.  But now she knew that there was another option and that she didn't have to spend her life lonely if Ranma was lost to her.___

                Once the boys were dressed, everyone sat around the table in the main room.  Ranma was now wearing his blue Chinese shirt, Ryouga was wearing his yellow shirt that fastened in the front and Iikiba was wearing the burgundy tunic that resembled Ryouga's yellow one.  Yoiko was wearing one of Akane's sweaters instead of her soaked yellow wrap.  There was a kind of nervous tension between the two Hibiki boys that everyone seemed to feel.

                Kasumi came in with the tea and set it down on the table with a plate of cookies.

                "There.  Now we are all settled, right?" she asked.  She exuded an aura of calmness that no one could help but catch.

                Ryouga turned to Iikiba.

                "You there, Iikiba.  Why don't you tell us the whole story from the beginning, hmm?"

                "I don't know if I should.  I was always told that it's not a good idea to know too much of the future."

                "You might as well, Oniichan," commented Yoiko.  "Kaachan was going through your photo collection when I went to the restaurant.  Someone saw that tag on your pack, I guess, and took it there.  She knew who I was at any rate."

                "Aah ... damn."  Iikiba sighed.  "Not much left to hide, is there."

                Everyone looked to him, expectantly.

                Iikiba cleared his throat. 

                "My given name is Hibiki Iikiba and I was ...or will be, born in the year of 2001.  This," he gestured to Yoiko, "is my younger sister, Hibiki Yoiko.  She will be born in the year of 2004.  We are the children of Hibiki Ryouga and Kuonji Ukyou."

                Iikiba paused as Ryouga started to tremble.  "Don't panic Ryouga-san, listen to the rest of the story before you, uh, blow up."

                "Anyway, I came to this time by accident.  I inherited my, uh, directional problem from Tousan and on top of that, I sometimes get lost through dimensions and time."

                "It's possible that people from other places in time to come to you?" asked Ranma.

                "Yes," replied Iikiba.  The crowd around the table looked at Ranma.

                "I found Iikiba, once.  He was about four years old and he was sitting with Jiro who was about twenty.  She told me that I had been missing for five years."

                "I think that was an other version of me," Iikiba interrupted. "When I was four years old, Auntie Ji was twenty-five years old."

                "Then, I'm around in your time?"

                "Your son, Kanaeda and I are best friends."

                "Oh.  Well anyway, the Jiro that I met with said that dimensional rifts always crop up around Iikiba-chan.  She didn't know whether the little guy subconsciously created the rifts or if he simply attracts them."

                "I don't know either," commented Iikiba.  "But, I've ran into other versions of myself, at all sorts of ages.  I've run into children that are all sorts of different combinations of all of you.  There was Ryu, son of Ranma and Ukyou, excuse my familiarity, Ryoko, daughter of Ryouga and Akari, Tacchi, son of Kuno and Nabiki ("No way," commented Nabiki.), Cream, daughter of Shampoo and Ranma, Akaneda, son of Ryouga and Akane (Ryouga blushed furiously.), and there were many more.  I've even ran into a girl with the combined last name of Saotome-Hibiki ..." Iikiba went deep red as his voice trailed off.

                Everyone around the table looked sick, especially Ranma and Ryouga.

                "No way!" shouted Ranma.

                "That will never happen!" Ryouga vowed.

                "Well, anyway, the point that I'm trying to get across is that Yoiko-chan and myself are from a possible future and that anything can still happen," Iikiba explained.  "Don't assume that our presence here means that the future is engraved in stone."  Ryouga calmed down immediately.

                Soun and Genma crowded up to Iikiba.

                "So tell me, Iikiba-kun, who is the mother of your friend, Kanaeda?" asked Soun with a fiery intensity.

                "Uh..."

                "Akane-san is!" chirped up Yoiko.  

                "You're making things worse, dummy!" hissed Iikiba to his sister.

                "You hear that, Tendou?" asked Genma.

                "Sure did, Saotome," sobbed Soun happily.  "We did it!"

                "The legacy of the School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts is secured!"

                "I'll break out the sake!"

                "Hey!" shouted Ranma.

                "Otousan!" cried out Akane.

                "It's only a possibility, so quit celebrating."

                "Otousan, you're embarrassing me!"

                Nabiki turned to Iikiba, ignoring her family and 'extended guests'.

                "So Iikiba-kun, what are you and Yoiko-chan going to do now?"

                "When I found myself in this time, I figured that while I was here, I'd get a copy of the recipe that Okaachan lost.  As for Yoiko..."

                "I'm here 'cause someone has to take Oniichan back home afterwards."

                "Well," stated Nabiki, "I have a small business proposition to make."

                Iikiba suddenly became wary.  "What kind of thing do you have in mind?"

                "Don't be so suspicious, Iikiba-kun.  It's nothing difficult."

                "Sorry," Iikiba said sarcastically, "my business instincts took over."

                "Right.  Well, anyway, all I want is some information..."

                "About any new product that came onto market before my time and made it big."

                Nabiki's mouth dropped – just a little bit, but she quickly recovered.

                "Uh, yeah," she said.

                "Don't sound so surprised, Nabiki-san.  I am the son of a businesswoman, and besides, you're still around in my time as well.  We know you."

                Yoiko walked up to Kasumi and asked her a question.  Kasumi nodded and went to a drawer and pulled out a pen and some paper and handed it to Yoiko.  Yoiko thanked the eldest Tendou sister, then walked back and handed the stuff to her brother.

                "Thank-you, Yoiko."  He turned to Nabiki.  "I assume you'll want to be playing the stock-market, right, Nabiki-san?"

                "Right," replied Nabiki, having quickly regained her composure.

                "Now, you realise that I don't think that this is entirely honest, but in some cases, financial support was the reason that some of the products did as well as they did.  I'll give you the names of five companies that will produce one beneficial item that would not have done so well if they didn't have the financial support.  Okay?"

                Nabiki frowned.  "Why only five?  Why not more?"

                "Let's just say that I'm not comfortable with the idea of you having too much financial power, Nabiki-san.  I don't want you to conveniently forget our deal because you might find it inconvenient to follow through."

                "What do you get out of it, Iikiba-kun?  I wouldn't think a Hibiki would have a great need for a lot of money."

                "No, I don't.  But things do happen, and I'd like to be prepared for them.  You know, hospital stays, house repairs, search teams for Tousan and myself ...  I don't want much, just enough for the sake of financial security.  You do understand, right?"

                "Right, I do." Nabiki nodded.

                Iikiba started to write out a contract.  They haggled over the percentage that Iikiba would receive in return for the information.  They finally agreed on ten percent since Nabiki was putting out the money herself.  Then they argued about how she would give the money to him.  They were on a standstill on that particular problem, until Yoiko came up with an idea.

                "How about a bank account to be created in Oniichan's name shortly after he's born.  Then Nabiki-san can deposit ten percent of the money that she has already made and then, every year, she can deposit another ten percent that she makes off of his information?  That would work, since Nabiki-san doesn't have the money now, and it would be too much money to give to Oniichan all at once when we get back home to our time."

                Nabiki and Iikiba nodded.  Then they wrote up the contract, signed it and had it witnessed by everyone in the room.

                Yoiko looked at the clock on the wall.

                "It's late," she said.  "Oniichan, we should be going."

                "Oh my," said Kasumi, "Where would you stay?"

                "Don't worry, Kasumi-san.  We've got a place."

                Ryouga looked towards Jiro.  "I don't suppose, you have a place in mind to stay the night?"

                Jiro grinned.  "Of course I do, Oniisan."  She looked towards Soun.  "It is still all right, Tendou-san?"

                "Of course, Jiro-chan.  You and Ryouga-kun can stay in the dojo for the night."

                Ryouga brightened.  "Thank-you Tendou-san."

                Iikiba was trudging along behind his sister.  He was holding his umbrella over his head, while Yoiko's just dried wrap was getting soaked again by the drizzle. 

                "So where is this place that we're staying at anyway?" he asked. 

                "Home," replied Yoiko.

                "We can't go home yet, I still need to get a copy of that recipe."

                "No, Oniichan, I mean Kaachan's restaurant, in this time.  It's the same lock."  Yoiko looked back at her brother.  "Do you mean Kuonji-obaasan's recipe?  The one lost in the fire?"

                Iikiba grunted an affirmative.

                "I wondered why you wound up in this time.  So I guess that we'll stay until we get it, right?"

                Iikiba nodded.

                They reached the restaurant and Yoiko unlocked the door.  They looked inside and saw that Ukyou had fallen asleep at the table.  Iikiba groaned as he saw all of his belongings scattered all over the place.  They went in and shut the door behind them.  They both looked at their future mother, who was starting to snore softly.

                "I guess we should get her to bed," suggested Iikiba.  "I'll carry her, but you gotta lead the way for me.  Yoiko nodded.

                Yoiko led the way up the stairs to the small room where Ukyou slept.  Iikiba carried Ukyou easily and was careful not to jostle her.  Yoiko pulled back the covers from the futon and Iikiba laid her on the bed.  They covered her up and went back downstairs.  

                Once they made it back downstairs, Yoiko shivered.  In response, Iikiba threw his red T-shirt at her. 

                "Put this on, and let your clothes dry overnight."

                "Thanks Oniichan..." started Yoiko, but her brother interrupted.

                "Why didn't you bring a pack with you?  You know better than that, Yoiko."

                "Sorry..."

                Iikiba sighed.  "Y'iko-chan, just remember next time."

                "Okay."


	6. Business as Usual?

**Recipe of Disaster** Niki (NeeP) Paradis Chapter Five:  Business as Usual? 

                Morning came and Jiro woke up.  She sat up in her sleeping bag and looked around for Ryouga.  He wasn't anywhere in sight.  She sighed.  She got up, walked to the entrance of the dojo and opened the door and looked out.  The sun was shining overhead and Ryouga's clothes were at her feet.

                "Ah, damn, he did it again."

                She did a quick chi search and located the presence of her brother in the direction of Akane's bedroom.  _It figures, Jiro thought.  She decided to try and impose on Kasumi and see if she could do some laundry for her and Ryouga._

**                Ukyou woke up to the smell of cooking okonomiyaki.  It was a smell that she hadn't woken up to since she left her father on her quest for revenge on Ranma.  She looked beside her and saw a covered plate had been set beside her.  She sat up, and was surprised to find herself still dressed.  The last thing that she could remember was going through Iikiba's photo-album for the umpteenth time_.  That means that someone has carried me up here, she thought.  She picked up the plate and brought it to her lap.  She uncovered it and found a combination special okonomiyaki done just the way she liked it sitting on it.  _**

She thoughtfully ate the food, remembering the times when her father used to serve her breakfast in bed.  That would only happen on special days, though.  Back then, she would wake up with a plate next to her, and she would eat it while listening to her father serve customers.  As a matter of fact, she could almost hear the customers being served now, as if they were in her restaurant downstairs.

Ukyou started.  She actually was hearing the customers downstairs.  _Why the hell am I doing up here, while all of my customers are downstairs?  she asked herself.  __Who the hell let them in, anyway?  She wolfed down the rest of her okonomiyaki, hastily put on a clean wrap, quickly retied her hair, and ran downstairs._

When she got down, she was startled to find that all of her customers were eating and that Iikiba Hibiki was standing behind the grill.  Yoiko was cleaning; carrying dishes to the few tables, washing dishes, and pointing out to her brother which customer ordered which dish.  Ukyou stood for a minute, just taking in the scene.  She took a deep breath, held it for a minute, then let it out. She turned to face Iikiba and saw that he was looking at her already.

"Good morning, Ukyou-san, how was the combo?" Iikiba asked.  

"It was good, did you make it?"  Ukyou wasn't certain how she should respond.

"Um, yeah … Glad you liked it."  Iikiba grinned sheepishly, while scratching the back of his head in a self-conscious manner – the way that she has seen Ryouga do many times.  Ukyou stepped back to take a good look at her future son.  

Iikiba was wearing the burgundy tunic that she remembered finding in his pack.  It was the one that resembled Ryouga's yellow one, only with the snaps.  He was wearing a clean pair of grey slacks and his red bandanna.  Over his tunic, however, Iikiba was wearing the bandoleer that Ukyou remembered finding among the boy's belongings.  There were a few of the small throwing spatulas secured in the front loops and Iikiba's red umbrella was fastened to the back. 

Yoiko yelled out an order.  Iikiba quickly pulled out the appropriate ingredients, deftly mixed up the order in a shallow bowl and poured it on the grill.  Ukyou was sort of surprised to see that he had no problem finding the ingredients.  While it was cooking, he added the toppings, he waited a bit, then checked the edges with a spatula, pulled it off and placed it on a plate and handed it to Yoiko who took it to the waiting customer.  Ukyou watched the process with a critical eye, and she nodded approval when he was finished.   

"You appear to do good work," commented Ukyou the burgundy-clad chef.

"Thanks, but I had an excellent teacher," replied Iikiba.  He chuckled and Ukyou got the joke.  Iikiba then turned and gestured to his sister.

"Besides, I have Yoiko's help.  She's the one who tells me which dish goes where."

P-chan was lost.  He woke up on Akane's pillow and found that he needed to relieve himself.  He looked down on the sleeping form of one of his true loves (Akari's the other), leaped lightly from the bed and discovered the exit. However, somewhere along the hallway on the way to the bathroom, he got himself lost. He was starting to get worried, after all, a piggy's bladder could only hold so much for so long.  He wandered around the hall looking for a door, any door, when he finally came up against a pair of soft-soled martial-artist shoes, with buckles.  He looked up to see Jiro's blond head looking down at him. 

"We ought to be going now, Oniisan."  She bent down, picked up the piglet and took him to the washroom.  

Genma Saotome was busy brushing his teeth.  He had a towel wrapped around himself as he had just gotten out of the bath.  So it is possible to say that he was a little out of sorts when the door opened and Jiro came in.  

"Excuse me, Saotome-san," she said brightly as she placed a pile of clothes on a shelf and tossed a pig into the still hot bath water.  "I'll be waiting outside, Oniisan," she called as she shut the door as she left.  Genma blinked, then looked towards the tub.  Ryouga's head was just breaking the surface.

"Good morning, Ryouga-kun," he greeted the teen.

"Um, Good Morning, Saotome-san."

"Interesting time we had last night.  Wasn't it?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Nice boy that you have there, and that Yoiko seems to be a great girl."

Ryouga grunted.  Genma, however, failed to notice as he continued. 

"Friends to my future grand-son…"

Ryouga was developing a dark aura as his depression kicked in.  _But Akane … _

"Oniisan!  I'm waiting!"  Jiro called from the hall.  Ryouga jumped from the tub, grabbed a spare towel, dried himself, got dressed and quickly left the bathroom.

"See you later, Saotome-san," he said as he left, and Genma continued his morning toiletries, blissfully unaware of how close he came to being blown to kingdom come by Ryouga's depression blast.

Ryouga cursed as he and Jiro left the dojo, he never did get to use the washroom.

Ukyou was finishing up her homework as the breakfast crowd petered out.  Both Iikiba and Yoiko were washing the dishes and cleaning up after the breakfast rush.  Originally, she wanted to take over the work, but Iikiba pointed out her books and papers that she left out, including that damn trigonometry problem.  Ukyou argued with him but he pointed out that she wasted the previous night, going through a strange backpack instead of doing her assignments.  She sighed.  Iikiba gave an apologetic grin, yet insisted that according to his mother, it was important to get a good education, and that meant finishing all assignments.  Ukyou turned to her trig problem.  It was just that she found it slightly distracting that she was not the one working, after all, it was her restaurant.  

She closed the book with an odd satisfaction, both glad that she actually finished the assignment and knowing that she will have a positive influence on her son, even if he is the one who is giving the lectures to her on finishing school work.  She still felt uncomfortable with the idea that Iikiba is/will be hers and Ryouga's future son, after all she had never even considered sharing a future with the Lost Boy.  

"Tell me something," she asked Iikiba suddenly.  "What's your family like?"

Iikiba looked up from the cleaning of the grill.  "Sorry, Ukyou-san, I not suppose to tell you."

"It's nice, though," commented Yoiko.  "We have none of the big problems that some families are s'pose to have."

"Umm," Ukyou grunted.

"Uh … Ukyou-san?" Iikiba interrupted.

"Hmm?"

"I need to use the washroom.  Where would I find it?"

"Up the stairs, second door on the left."

Iikiba started towards the stairs, then he stopped.

"Aah … Left?"

Ukyou shook her head.  _Definitely Ryouga's son, she thought._

Jiro was leading Ryouga down the street towards the market district. 

"Where are we going?" asked Ryouga as he tried to pull his wrist free from his little sister's overly tight grip.

"Over to Ukyou-san's restaurant.  I wanna talk to Iikiba-san 'bout something."

"So why do I have to come?"

"Because I don't want to have to track you down again later, Oniisan."

"Look."  Ryouga stopped suddenly.  "I don't want to go to see Ukyou, especially if that Iikiba guy or Yoiko are there.  It's just that I find the whole idea that I'm not going to marry Akane depressing."

Jiro spun around and faced her brother.  "Look, Oniisan."  There were tears in her eyes.  "Try and see it from my point of view.  Yoiko-kun told me that I _will be adopted by your family.  Do you realise what that means to me?"  She took a deep breath.  "I have to know more about this, to see how close I am to this realisation.  To see how it can come about.  Okay?"_

Ryouga nodded.  "You win, Imooto-chan.  Just for you."

Jiro embraced her brother in a crushing hug -- the kind that can only be surpassed by Ryouga himself.

"Thanks, Oniisan.  Thank-you very much."

Ukyou had left Iikiba upstairs, after showing him to the door of the washroom.  Figuring that it would take the boy about twenty minutes or so to find his way back down, she thought that it would be a good time to ask some questions of the less closed-mouth of her two guests.

"So why did your brother need to get a copy of my mother's recipe?"

"Well, yours – I mean Kaachan's copy was lost in a fire that we had 'bout eight months ago.  Apparently, an old rival of Kaachan's, some guy named Joe, started fire to our restaurant, just to take revenge against Kaachan for the time when she defeated him years ago.  Touchan woke up when he smelled the smoke and he rushed everyone out of the house and the fire trucks came shortly after, so most of the kitchen was saved, although there was some major smoke damage to a lot of stuff.  The shelf with the recipes on it was completely destroyed, including Kuonji-obaasan's.  The rest didn't matter, Kaachan had those memorised, but she hadn't memorised Obaasan's."  Yoiko shrugged.

"Touchan went to work as a one-man wrecking crew, demolishing old buildings with the Bakusai-Tenketsu. A lot of companies were more than willing to pay Touchan ¥50,000,000 per job as opposed to twice or three times as much that they would have to pay professional wrecking crews.  After demolishing six buildings, Touchan had earned enough to repair the restaurant, but nothing could replace Kuonji-obaasan's recipe.

"Onnichan has the um, ability to cross time and dimensions.  I think that once he realised when and where he was, that he would take advantage of his being here and try to get a copy of the recipe, from you to give to Kaachan, who is you, when we get home."

Ukyou thought about the story that Yoiko just gave her.  _Well, whadd'ya know?  __Iikiba was telling the truth.  The recipe really was important to his mother.  She looked up and saw that Ryouga and Jiro were standing at the door.  __Just great.  Wonder how much of that story that they heard?_

Jiro clapped her hands.

"That was great, Yoiko-kun.  You have the makings of a great storyteller."

_Well, that answers that.  Wonder how much Ryouga knows about this whole situation._

She looked towards Ryouga who met her eyes for a second, then quickly looked down, blushing.

_Oh shit.  That answers that question as well._

Iikiba entered the restaurant through the front door.  Ukyou started, looked at the brown-haired boy, then looked towards the stairway -- her only stairway.  _Okaaaaay.  Iikiba looked towards her and his future father and shook his head.  Ukyou could barely hear what he muttered._

"Hoo boy, am I in for it now."


	7. An Enormous Amount of Depression

**Recipe of Disaster** Niki (NeeP) Paradis 

Chapter Seven:  An Enormous Amount of Depression.

Ranma was glad to have escaped the house.  Ever since Iikiba and Yoiko showed up, his and Akane's fathers were acting like the wedding reception was already underway.  He definitely didn't like that idea that his future was already set out with his not being able to have a say about any of it.  However, although he wouldn't dare admit it to himself, the idea of marrying Akane wasn't something that he was totally opposed to.  He just didn't want Soun or his father to know about it.

He thought about the concept of Ukyou and Ryouga coming together.  It wasn't a bad idea, now that he thought about it.  They were already friends, and it was obvious that they were able to get along together, especially if Jiro was there to help things along.  He grinned to himself.  Now if there was some way to encourage them without being as obvious as Tendou-san and his own old man.

It was a dead calm that could be found in Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.  Ukyou was looking at Ryouga, Ryouga was looking at Ukyou, and Iikiba was holding his head in his hands.  Jiro was calm, and Yoiko was excited.  Yoiko was the one who broke the silence.  

"Hi Touchan, c'mon in.  If you and Auntie Ji are hungry, Oniichan can cook you something."

Iikiba was shaking his head and trying to shush his little sister.  Yoiko was not paying attention to him, as she was trying to pull Ryouga into the restaurant.  Ryouga was trying to resist the pull of the younger girl, but the Hibiki strength prevailed on the side of the teenage girl and Ryouga found himself dragged to the counter.  Ukyou was pushed into a seat beside him.  The two teens looked at each other then at the over-eager young girl.  Jiro sighed and took a seat on the other side of her brother.  

As Yoiko ran off to get plates, Ryouga leaned over the counter towards an extremely embarrassed Iikiba.

"What's going on here?" he asked in an angry hiss.  Iikiba shrugged.

"Yoiko is feeling a little insecure at the moment.  I told her to leave things be, but she wants to secure her -- our future with you two."

"Here are the plates, Oniichan.  Get cookin'!"

Iikiba finally lost his temper and turned on his younger sister.

"Yoiko, sit down and shut up!" he growled at her.  "With you forcing them together like that, you're just making things worse!"

Yoiko froze, then dropped onto a seat.  Her eyes filled with tears as a pale green aura formed around her.  Iikiba started and re-addressed her in a calmer voice.

"Relax, Yoiko-chan," he said.  If things are meant to happen this way in this timeline, they will.  Okay?  You don't have to force them."

Yoiko sniffled, but the aura diminished a bit.

"Not like it's going to happen," muttered Ryouga.  "I'm planning to marry Akane."

"Ranchan's the one for me," agreed Ukyou.

"Guys, could you perhaps stop talking like that?  Please?"  Iikiba interrupted them as he jerked his thumb back towards his sister, whose pale green aura was starting to build up again.  Both Ukyou and Ryouga missed the point as they continued their discussion.

"What's so great about Ranma?" asked Ryouga hotly.

"Well, he doesn't get lost trying to cross the street, sugar," replied Ukyou.

"Hmmph.  He's not so great.  But I'm not surprised that a cross-dressing tomboy like you would be interested in a loser like that."

"Oniisan, Ukyou-san, I think you better stop," Jiro said softly, starting to get a frightened by Yoiko's glow.  Iikiba was starting to emit a bit of a deep green aura, but he seemed to have it under control.  But now, Ryouga and Ukyou were involved in insulting each other and pretty much unaware of what was happening around them.

"You don't have a clue about what you're talking about.  You're just too pig-headed too admit it!"

"I have never known you for a fool, Ukyou.  Guess I was wrong."

"**STOP IT!" yelled Iikiba.**

The two stopped arguing.  They then noticed Yoiko's brilliant aura, and her sniffling.  When she started to tremble, Iikiba started to panic.

"Oh shit…" He grabbed his sister by her shoulders and started to drag her towards the front door.  "**GET OUT OF MY WAY!" he shouted at the customers who were still in the restaurant, despite the noise level.  They quickly obliged.**

They went out of the front door and into the street.  Iikiba forced his sister's hands together, palms out, and pointed them towards the sky.  He adopted the same pose and stood behind her, his forearms almost right against hers.  Then he yelled.

**"SHI SHI HOUKOUDAN REVISED: DOUBLE DEPRESSION BLAST!"**

"What a haul!  What a haul!"

Happosai was running across the rooftops with a bag of pilfered women's undergarments.  He was extremely impressed with himself over his new haul.  Inside his bag was an incredible assortment of underwear, ranging from brassieres to panties to teddies and everything in between.  They came from women of assorted ages.  From the young girls just coming into their womanhood to the mature beauties in their full ripeness of femininity that knows what the game is all about.  He was looking for more undergarments to loot when he saw a young woman, in her early twenties, who was sunbathing – in the nude.  His eyes bugged out and he thanked the gods for the favour that was shown to him and his eyes alone.

"Hot-chaa!  Come to Happy, Baby!"  He cried out loud as he changed directions to intercept the bathing beauty, all the while imagining what he could do with a young thing like that.

Unfortunately for him, because of his daydreaming, he failed to notice that his detour took him over the roof of Ukyou's restaurant.  He also failed to notice the pillar of heavy ki until he crashed into it.  The green energy ripped open his bag and scorched its contents.

"NOOOOOOO!" wailed the old pervert, as he realised what has just happened.  "MY PREEEEEEEETTIEEEEEEEEEES!"

Ranma was running on the rooftops when he witnessed a downpour of scorched women's undergarments.  He looked up and saw a stunned Happosai falling from the sky.  Ranma wondered what could stun the old pervert in such a way, when he saw the pillar of green ki. 

"Wow," thought Ranma, "I gotta hand it to Ryouga.  That is the most impressive Shi shi Houkoudan that he's done yet."  The fact that it got the old freak was a bonus, and Ranma figured that there really was some justice in the world after all.  But when he reached the area that the beam originated, he was surprised to find that the source was Iikiba and Yoiko Hibiki.

The rookie was just starting his shift when the pillar of green light appeared.  He quickly excused himself from the old lady he was giving directions to and he dashed towards the source.  On his way there, something fell heavily onto the ground about ten meters in front of him.  It turned out to be a diminutive old man, somewhat dazed and scorched.  He was holding a pair of equally scorched pair of panties.  In disgust, the rookie thought about whether he should assist the old man or throw him into the trash.

The old man started to moan and mumble.  The officer got closer to make out the words.

"_My … brassieres … my  … panties … my … teddies … my … stockings … my…"_

Without further ado, the rookie picked up the old pervert like he was a two-week-old dead fish and dropped him into the nearest garbage bin.  _We have to keep our city clean, he thought as he slammed the lid on the bin.  Then he set out towards the location that the green light was._

Jakku looked towards the huge pillar of green light.  _Hey, he thought.  __That's one of those Shi-shi-whaddya-call-'em's that that Hibiki guy can throw.  Jakku grinned, he knew that Jiro would be intercepting that same green ki-pillar if she saw it – if she wasn't there already.  He turned towards the light and made a beeline towards his (hopefully) final confrontation with Jiro._

Elsewhere, in a park nearby, a young teen-age girl was sitting on a bench, feeding the birds that landed at her feet.  Beside her, a pig, the size of a mini-van, was waiting patiently beside his mistress.  Akari Unryuu was enjoying the day, wondering where her boyfriend might be.  It wasn't as if she was worried, she knew that her boyfriend was often lost for long periods of time.  

The giant pig snorted suddenly. 

"What is it, Katsunishiki?"  The lovely brown-hair girl looked in the direction that her pig was facing and saw the pillar of green light.  Her face lit up

"Oh!  Ryouga-sama!  We've found him!  Thank-you, Katsunishiki.  You're such a wonderful and clever pig."  She jumped onto the pig's back and together they raced towards the light. 

The brilliant green beam that shot out from their hands was a twisted pillar of pale green and dark green ki. Yoiko's extreme depression provided the destructive power while Iikiba's determination provided the distance.  Both teens were miserable over the fighting but it was Ryouga's son who knew best on how to release their pent up frustration.

Finally the beam of heavy ki ended and both teens slumped onto the ground.  Iikiba fell to his knees while supporting Yoiko who was unconscious.  They stayed that way for a couple of minutes, as the energy fell back to the Earth and crumbled the ground around them.

Finally, Iikiba raised his head and glared at Ukyou and Ryouga who was standing in the doorway with Jiro.  He picked up his sister and walked towards them.  The venom that dripped from his voice was evident when he addressed his future parents.

"What are you two?  Stupid or something?  Both of you should know, especially you, Ryouga-san, that it is dangerous to _depress a Hibiki."  Iikiba shook his head, then turned to Ranma who was watching the spectacle.  "And you, Ranma-san, should just not stand and stare, especially when __it's none of your business."_

With a snort, Iikiba shouldered his way through the crowd at the doorway and into the restaurant.

The young officer was still running towards the site of the pillar of green light, when a young man with red hair was beside him, easily matching him, stride for stride.

"Excuse me," the boy asked.  He wasn't even panting, or breathing hard.  "Have you seen a brown-hair guy, wearing a red bandanna, carrying a backpack and umbrella?  Or a girl with dark hair, wearing a yellow bandanna, carrying a giant spatula?"

"Yes … I did.  I sent them … both to … Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop."  The rookie was having trouble matching the pace that the red head boy was keeping.

"Great!  At least I'm headin' in the right direction.  Thanks a lot!"  With that, the boy sped up his pace, pulling ahead and quickly out of sight.

When the officer looked back towards the light, it was gone. 


	8. Broken Dreams and Fixed Battles

  


**Recipe of Disaster**   
_Niki "NeeP" Paradis_   
Chapter Eight: Broken Dreams and Fixed Battles   


Iikiba sat at the counter, panting. As always, he had exhausted himself. The Shi-shi Houkoudan always took a lot out of a person. But at least he was no longer depressed. Now, he was just plain angry. He looked towards Ukyou and Ryouga who was looking at him warily. The remaining customers also looked at him, took deep swallows and one by one they got up from their plates, went to Ukyou and paid their bills, and prudently left the scene.   
Ukyou watched in dismay as the last of her livelihood left the restaurant. She looked at Iikiba--torn in telling her future son off for driving off her customers and avoiding having him blow up again. _But then_, she thought, _if he really is my son, he'd understand._   
"Are you aware that you just drove off today's business?" she asked icily. Iikiba glared at her, then understanding registered on his face and his eyes widened.   
"You're right, Ukyou-san," he sighed. "I should have known better." He stood up and bowed low to her.   
"I'm sorry."   
Ukyou grunted. "Alright then."   
"How easy does the Shi-shi Houkoudan come to you?" asked Jiro curiously. Iikiba swallowed, and glanced at Ryouga before answering.   
"Almost as easy as it comes to Tousan, my father, that is. I'm not as down in the dumps as often as he is, though." He gestured to his sister, still unconscious and propped against his backpack. "Yoiko-chan, gets depressed more often than I do, and at least once a month, she gets to a point that can throw a Shi-shi Houkoudan that can level the neighbourhood, if she released it. I don't get depressed that often, although I can make myself depressed during a battle if I have to. When I get depressed, I really get depressed, then I can cause serious damage with my heavy ki."   
Ranma, who was leaning against the wall, watching the whole thing, asked, "In battle, huh? Have you even defeated someone with that attack?"   
"A certain old pervert who was groping at Yoiko got himself flattened with it. That was last year." Iikiba smirked. "I showed that old goat a thing or two."   
"Who taught you?" asked Ryouga. "Did your father...?"   
"He had to." Iikiba shrugged. "We learned while we were young. Sometimes we were so upset, for one reason or another that we had to release the depression before we could do damage to ourselves."   
"Oh?" asked Ryouga and Ukyou together.   
He grinned, "I'm saying too much, but honestly, at home, we're one big happy family."   
"Oniichan?" asked Yoiko sleepily as she stirred. "I thought that you said that we weren't suppose to talk so much."   
Iikiba jumped, then turned around and looked at her.   
"You're right. I forgot myself but I think I can get away with it just this once." He winked.   
"There you are, 'Kiba-kun!" came a voice from outside of the restaurant. A red-hair boy burst through the doorway. "Are you aware that your folks are worried 'bout you?" He glanced around at the people around him. "What year is this, anyway?"   
Ranma studied the newcomer. The boy seemed familiar to him as well. Not that he ever seen this guy before, but there was something nagging at him...   
The boy looked back and recognition registered in his eyes.   
"No way, man." The redhead shook his head in disbelief. Then he looked at Iikiba, and asked, "Is that who I think it is?"   
Iikiba looked away. The boy grinned.   
"I can't believe it," he addressed Ranma, "but it is. Oyaji!" 

Jakku paused before the restaurant. There was no doubt about it; this was the place where the blast came from. The hole in the middle of the street before the building was proof of that. However, there were too many people around the building for his tastes. Lucky for him, that most of the customers had already left, but unfortunately, the crowd that was forming in front of the building, presented too many eyes. If he were to kill Jiro, he would prefer to have as few witnesses as possible.   
He looked into the doorway, as discretely as possible, and saw that the guy that Jiro called her brother was still there, plus the storeowner and the guy-girl that the Hibiki guy always fought. There were more people in the restaurant as well; two boys and a girl.   
_Too many witnesses_, he thought as he shook his head._ And all of them would more than likely seek retribution for Jiro's death_. He sighed. _Perhaps another day..._   
He backed away from the store, hoping that no one within saw him, when he came against something solid, and warm. He turned around and came up against the chest of a very large pig. He looked up and saw the pig looking down with a somewhat mean look in his piggish eyes. Jakku swallowed. He had seen this pig before -- from afar. He knew that the pig belonged to an acquaintance of the Hibiki guy and he knew that he never wanted to get it mad at him.   
"Katsunishiki! Apologise to this young man. You know that he didn't mean to bump into you."   
To Jakku's surprise, the huge pig backed up, and actually bowed low in apology. Jakku then saw that the pig's owner was riding on the back of her huge pet.   
"No, it's my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going." He bowed back, knowing that he looked ridiculous, but he was willing to make a fool of himself to get on the good side of this pig. "Gotta go!" With that, Jakku turned around and walked away -- quickly. 

The young officer had finally reached the site of pillar of light. The only evidence that he could see that anything had happened was a really large hole in the street. He also thought he saw an incredibly huge pig walking away from the scene, but after he shook his head, the pig was gone, so he chalked it up to a delusion caused by stress and exhaustion. But the funny thing was that no one was paying any particular attention, or even seems a little concerned over the damage that loomed big in front of them. Then he looked up and saw that the pit was located right in front of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop.   
_It figures_, thought the rookie to himself, as he pulled the radio out of his belt and called in the potential safety hazard, especially with people coming en masse from the restaurant. _We can't have people falling into that hole_. But to his surprise and dismay, the old Sargent on the other end seemed unconcerned about the whole thing.   
"Happens all the time," was what Sargent Yamato said to him. "Don't worry about the people. They know better than to fall into that hole." The rookie shook his head in amazement. But at least he managed to arrange a clean-up crew to come and patch the street.   
While waiting for the crew to arrive, he looked around the perimeter of the hole--to ascertain the damage, and realised that there wasn't any evidence of any bombs, equipment malfunction or photon torpedoes. He was confused--it was obvious that the hole was created from a blast of some sort, but there was no sign of whatever it was that caused it. The best thing that he could think of that he could do is to go into the restaurant and ask what the hell has happened. But that had to wait until the area was secured. 

Ranma was stunned. He looked at the guy who looked back with such familiarity. _Who the heck is this, and where does he get off calling me --ME!!! --'Old Man'?!?_ The red-hair boy simply faced him, with his arms crossed and with an 'in-your-face' kind of attitude. He wore a blue Chinese shirt, and soft-soled kung fu styled slippers, which contrasted sharply with his worn in blue jeans. Ranma looked into the boy's face. He got eyes just like Akane's, he thought with a kind of wonder.   
Then it clicked in that this kid had just acknowledged him as his father. His jaw dropped open, as he realised the implications of how this kid came to be.   
"Heh," chuckled the boy. "He does a good impression of a beached fish, doesn't he, 'Kiba-kun?"   
Iikiba shook his head. "You ought to watch yourself, Kanaeda. A wrong word can really screw things up back home."   
"So you say." Kanaeda turned away and handed the duffel bag to Yoiko. "Your mom thought that you could use this, Y'iko-chan."   
Yoiko seized the bag with hope in her eyes. "Is this what I think it is?" she asked eagerly. She opened it and looked inside. "YES!!! It is! Clean clothes!" With the bag gripped firmly in hand, she raced up the stairs into the washroom. Everyone stared up the stairs, as the washroom door slammed closed.   
"That's one problem solved," said the redhead. "Now to get you home, Iikiba..."   
"I can't leave yet, Kanaeda. I have to get a recipe."   
"A recipe?"   
"Yeah. Ukyou-san and I were suppose to discuss whether or not she was going to give it to me." Iikiba looked meaningfully at Ukyou.   
"I'm still thinking about it," was all that she said.   
"Who are you?" Ranma asked the red-hair boy.   
"I thought it was obvious. My name is Saotome Kanaeda."   
"Are you calling me dense?"   
"Always have, always will." 

The two Saotomes glared at each other as Iikiba again approached Ukyou.   
"About the recipe, Ukyou-san. Please, may I have a copy?"   
Ukyou didn't hear Iikiba's request as she was stunned. She realised exactly who this Kanaeda-guy was, and to her, the realisation that the strange red-hair boy was Ranma's son and not her own was like another nail to the coffin of her dream of marrying Ranma. This can't be happening, she thought.   
"This can't be real," she murmured as she tried to block the restaurant by covering her ears with her hands. "You can't be my son," she accused Iikiba. "I am engaged to Ran-chan. I WILL marry him!"   
Iikiba stood, shocked as if he was just given a hard stinging blow to the face.   
"What is it with you?!?" he asked exasperatedly. "Am I so awful a possibility that I have to treated like this?" He turned towards the front door of the restaurant. "I am outta here," he snarled as he marched out of the restaurant. "I'll come back when you stop talking stupid."   
"Hey! Iikiba! Where are you goin'?" asked Kanaeda as he watched his friend's departure. He shook his head as soon as he realised that Iikiba's going off--by himself. "Y'know, I'm sorta inclined to agree with Ga-chan, myself," he said as he shot a very dark look at Ukyou. "You really oughtta keep an open mind." Then he ran out after him.   
Ranma, Ryouga and Jiro looked out the door after the redhead.   
"That was kinda peculiar," stated Jiro, once Kanaeda had disappeared from view. Ryouga and Ranma could only nod. Jiro continued. "Y'know, it probably wasn't a good idea for Iikiba-san to go out by himself, especially with the sense of direction that he has..."   
"You mean that Oniichan has left?" asked a dismayed voice from the back of the restaurant. All heads turned to look at Yoiko, who was coming down the stairs into the restaurant. Dressed now in a yellow shirt and green trousers that were cross-garnered at the shins, her resemblance to Ryouga was even more complete. And her hair, which was now loose, hung to her waist, making her look older--momentarily.   
"YOU LET HIM LEAVE?!?" she wailed like a little girl. "Do you know what can happen with him loose like that?"   
Blank looks were being directed at her, fearful that she was going to let loose with another Shi-shi Houkoudan. Yoiko looked at the fear in their faces and blushed.   
"Sorry, for yelling like that," she apologised. "I'm just worried."   
"What for...?" asked Ranma. "So he'll get lost. It's not unusual for a Hibiki..."   
"Shut-up, Ranma," muttered Ryouga.   
The look on Yoiko's face stopped the squabble from going further.   
"Lost is one thing," she said. "If leaves this dimension and leaves the rest of us behind..." She shook her head and shuddered. "The rest of us--Kanaeda-kun and me, will be stranded in the past." She sniffled. "And that will definitely screw up the future and our lives."   
"Oh." Ranma had nothing more to say. 

Iikiba was no more than ten meters out of the restaurant when he realised that he was lost. He remembered walking past the hole formed by the blast and the confused officer standing next to it. Other than that, he had no idea what was going on before he took the wrong turn that got him lost. He heard Kanaeda calling out to him. He turned to look for his friend and crashed into something that wasn't totally stationary.   
"Oof!" came a startled response. Iikiba turn around in time to noticed that he was falling on top of someone. They both landed with a muffled thud. Iikiba rolled off immediately and offered the stranger a hand.   
"Kunou-sama!" cried out a worried voice.   
"I'm very sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you alright?"   
"Hands off, cretin." Iikiba's proffered hand was slapped away. "Why weren't you watching where you were going?"   
"I said I was sorry," said Iikiba hotly. "I was distracted, okay?"   
"Such manners are not becoming. Especially when addressing your superiors. I shall have to teach you some manners."   
A little man in a black ninja suit helped the young man to his feet.   
"Are you all right, Kunou-sama," he asked in a worried voice.   
"I am unhurt, although not much will be said about the oaf that knocked me down."   
Iikiba looked around him. There was a crowd building as there usually is when there is a fight in Nerima. He did manage to spot Kanaeda, who gave him a shrug and spread his hands as if to say: _ 'This is your fight, buddy. It ain't my fault that this guy's a real jerk.'_   
Iikiba turned back to face the other guy, who was looking at him in a condescending manner. He was wearing a kendo-outfit and was carrying a bokken. Iikiba was taken aback by the person's arrogance. _It was an accident_! he thought. Out loud he said, "Really? And who are you to think that you are to teach me? I think that a truly noble person would let such a small incident pass."   
The other guy went red in the face. Iikiba could've sworn that he could see steam coming out of the guy's ears.   
Kanaeda shouted out from behind him. "Go get him, 'Kiba! Show that fool that you're not gonna stand there and take all that grief."   
"Insolent boor. I am the mighty Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School. I am Kunou Tatewaki, and I am you better!"   
The name shocked Iikiba. _This is Kunou-sensei?!?_ Thinking back to an arrogant history teacher, who in class has always stressed the importance of his family name in relationship to all of the important moments in the history of Japan.   
"Well if you want to fight, I won't disappoint you then. But I think that you just bit off a bit more than you can chew." Iikiba unslung his umbrella from the back of his bandoleer and went charging at Kunou.   
The crowd around the two fighters cheered. 

Jiro looked out of the door, pretty much ignoring the arguing between Ranma, Ryouga and Yoiko. She understood the implications that Yoiko-kun was getting at, but she found that all of the shouting was starting to hurt her ears. She noticed cheering in the distance and the sound of fighting. She saw that the crowd in front of the store was moving off into one particular direction.   
"I think I know where Iikiba-san went," she said.   
Four heads turned to her.   
"There's a fight goin' on out there, and Ranma-san is in here."   
"So it ain't me..." commented Ranma.   
"Go on," urged Ukyou, "we're listening..."   
"And Iikiba-san left the store angry..."   
"And Kanaeda-kun went after him," mused Yoiko. "The two of them are probably fighting." She chuckled. "He probably called Oniichan a pig-headed fool or something..."   
"So I guess that we better go after him before he and that guy, Kanaeda, wind up doing some serious property damage," suggested Ryouga.   
They left the restaurant, with Ukyou locking up behind her. 

Akari Unryuu heard the sounds of fighting. She strained her ears and heard the sounds of cheering. There was also the sound of large objects breaking. She looked down to face the pig that she was riding on.   
"What do you think, Katsunishiki?" she asked. "Do you think that it might be Ryouga-sama?"   
The pig gave a non-committed snort.   
"Well, I think that we should go and check it out. Let's go!"   
With that the huge pig and the girl turned and went towards the sound of fighting. 

Kanaeda Saotome watched as the two combatants faced each other, issuing threats and insults. So far the two of them were only measuring each other up and displaying their own strengths on the surrounding area. Already there were holes and rubble in the walls and in the street. He looked around at the crowd and realised that they were excited even without the actual battle.   
To be honest, Kanaeda was a little envious of Iikiba being able to have the chance to beat up on their future teacher. Lucky guy, he thought. I always thought it would be a pipe-dream--A chance to beat the crap outta Kunou-sensei. He knew that the tall youth wasn't really their arrogant history professor, but it was pretty apparent that this Tatewaki Kunou was as obnoxious and stuck-up as their over-bearing teacher back at home. _Oh, well_, he thought as he watched the two charge at each other, _I guess I can at least do the next best thing..._   
"Go! Iikiba! GO!!!" he shouted, cheering his friend on. 

The rookie was helping direct the repair crews when he realised that the crowd was moving in a particular direction. He heard quips and phrases about 'martial-artists', challenge and 'fight'. He knew that he had to go--_to make sure things didn't get too out of hand,_ he told himself. To be honest, it was one of the fights that he really wanted to see. After all, he only agreed to the Furinkan Patrol because he hoped to see one of the martial-arts battle that were always the talk of the precinct. He willingly followed the crowd. 

Ranma, Ryouga, Ukyou, Jiro and Yoiko managed to catch up to the crowd before the fight began. However, despite Yoiko's premonitions, Kanaeda Saotome was only a spectator of the fight. It appeared that Iikiba Hibiki had got himself into a fight with one Tatewaki Kunou, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High.   
"What's going on?" asked Ryouga to a young woman who was watching the scene.   
"Well," started the bystander, "it started when the boy in red walked into the arrogant jerk. He apologised, and even offered to help the guy up. But the bigger guy insulted him and challenged him to a fight."   
"Oh."   
"Well, chances are that Kunou has bitten off more than he can chew," chuckled Ranma. "Especially if that guy's anything like you."   
"Um, thanks--I think..." Ryouga wasn't sure if he should feel proud, insulted or what.   
"They're just about to start," said the woman. 

Akari joined the crowd. She and Katsunishiki had no trouble finding a spot which she can watch the fight in relative comfort. (But then, who's gonna argue with a girl on a two tonne pig?) She was disappointed that it wasn't her boyfriend in the fight, but the young man in red that was facing the kendo specialist appeared to be almost as strong as Ryouga. She looked through the crowd and saw that brown-hair boy with the water bucket who bumped into them earlier was watching the fight. She also saw Ryouga's little sister beside a building. She wondered if Ryouga might be with her. But before she could go over to look, the fight began. 

Jakku watched the two opponents square off. He knew that the older boy in blue was incompetent and wasn't any threat to himself or his plans for Jiro. The other boy, he remembered seeing at Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop. That boy was an unknown. He might be a friend of Jiro's and thus, a potential enemy. It was in Jakku's best interests to watch the boy and see just how good he was.   
He watched as the guy in red raised his red umbrella. Jakku blinked.   
_ Hey, isn't that the umbrella that I dragged over to the restaurant last night?_ He was certain that it was. Remembering how he found the umbrella and the backpack, he then began to wonder if the guy might be related to the Hibiki guy. 

Iikiba was watching his opponent very carefully. He remembered his father saying that Tatewaki Kunou was incapable of fighting without his bokken. But he was quite capable of smashing holes in stone and other objects. Kunou pretty much depended on speed when it came to attacking.   
Kunou made a series of thrusts at Iikiba's chest with his wooden sword. Iikiba parried then off with his umbrella. When Kunou drew back to prepare for another strike, Iikiba struck at him with his umbrella. Kunou dodged the thrust.   
"Is that the best you can do, dog?" he taunted.   
"No. It's not," stated Iikiba. "I'm just seeing what you can do. Is that it?"   
Kunou made another series of stabs at Iikiba's chest. As Iikiba parried them, Kunou did a quick swipe. Iikiba barely managed to block it in time.   
_Damn!_ thought Iikiba. _ I overestimated him!_   
"Come on, 'Kiba-kun! I know that you can do better than that!" Kanaeda's voice was easily heard over the crowd.   
"Shut-up!" yelled Iikiba. "I know what I'm doing!" He successfully blocked another of Kunou's blows.   
"You dare ignore me?!?" asked Kunou incredulously.   
"Why? Feeling insecure?"   
"Perhaps it would be wise to keep your mind on the battle, instead of talking to the riffraff!" snarled the Blue Thunder as he went charging at Iikiba again.   
The bokken swings were now more varied. Iikiba was now pressed to dodge and duck as the blows were directed at his head, arms and shoulders. He was starting to become concerned. Kunou was faster than he was and he knew that he could not keep up.   
"Only one thing to do," he muttered to himself. It was a trick that he has seen his father do on occasion. All he knew about it was that if the trick wasn't done right, it really, really hurt.   
He pretended to let his guard down for a moment, exposing his head to attack. Kunou went for the invitation and was about to bring his bokken down on Iikiba's head. He brought the wooden sword down...   
**_ Thwak!!!_**   
The crowd winced at what they imagined was the finishing blow. Then they looked at the boy in burgundy and grey, holding the end of the bokken in his hand, where he caught it. They cheered.   
Iikiba gave a feral grin.   
"Now what are you gonna do with out you weapon?" he asked. Unfortunately, he wasn't paying attention to the little man in ninja black.   
"Here! Catch!" called the manservant called Satsuke as he threw something rather large at Iikiba. Iikiba had to let go of the wooden sword in order to catch it.   
It was a watermelon.   
Iikiba blinked. He seemed to remember Kanaeda's father mentioning something about Kunou and watermelons, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what.   
"What the hell is this?" he asked as he looked at Kunou. Kunou was standing still, holding his bokken high, with a demonic glow in his eyes.   
_I think I just might be in trouble,_ he thought. 

Ranma, Ryouga, Jiro, Ukyou and Yoiko had managed to get a spot close enough to the fight. They had been observing the methods that Iikiba had been using against Kunou.   
"Aw, man..." moaned Ranma. "The poor guy doesn't have a chance..."   
"What do you mean, Ranchan?" asked Ukyou.   
"Kunou went through a form of hypnotic training which involved the use of watermelons. Now, whenever he sees one, he can't help but cut it--   
"That doesn't sound too bad..." mumbled Ukyou.   
"--and whoever holdin' the melon at the time..."   
"Eep!"   
"I wonder why Iikiba-san is holding back..." murmured Jiro.   
Ryouga grunted.   
"Hunh. You noticed it too."   
"Probably to give Kunou-sensei a even match," started Yoiko. "He would think it to be too dishonourable if..." She broke off as Kunou launched his attack anew. 

Iikiba watched as Kunou brought his bokken hard and fast towards his head. In a desperate attempt to block, he dropped his umbrella to hold up the watermelon. The crowd held its collective breath. 

Yoiko turned away.   
"I can't watch," she said. 

**_Thock!_**   
The wooden sword went cleanly through the watermelon, landing squarely on Iikiba's head. He stood still, as the two halves of the melon fell out of his upraised hands. Then he fell over, and landed on the ground with a thud. 

"Oniichan!!!" cried Yoiko.   
"'Kiba-kun! You can't fall down, now!" yelled Kanaeda. "Get up!"   
"I did it?!? I mean, see how the cretin falls under the might of the Blue Thunder!" Ecstatic, Kunou struck a pose.   
"Good for you, Kunou-sama," congratulated Satsuke. "You really did show him one."   
Iikiba sat up, groaning and rubbing his head.   
"Did anyone get the number of that lightning bolt that hit me?"   
"It was I that struck you like a bolt from above."   
"You cheated. You had outside help."   
Kunou sneered.   
"Why don't you admit that your feeble attempts were no match for my prowess."   
"Huh?"   
"All of your attempts to disable myself were distinctly... feminine "   
Iikiba glowered.   
"Excuse me...?" he asked in a dangerous voice.   
"Feminine, as in, akin to a woman. I should have seen it before... You fight like a woman, and you wear the colours of one." 

Jiro looked to the others.   
"Isn't that a kind of outdated mode of thinking?" she asked.   
"Yeah," said Yoiko. "In most of the best anime, the leaders and the main characters wear red." 

Kanaeda whistled a long low note. Then he chuckled.   
_ Kunou-sensei is about to get his butt kicked._

Iikiba was up immediately, he grabbed his red umbrella and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his deep red tunic and re-adjusted his red bandanna. He glared at Kunou as if daring him to repeat what he just said.   
"Care to repeat what you just said?" he asked acidly.   
"I don't care to repeat myself, but to make sure that I am understood, I will." Kunou looked smug. "You fight like a woman and you dress like one."   
Iikiba's eyes glowed red as his anger set in.   
"You are dead!" he growled as he charged at Kunou. 

"Finally," sighed Yoiko. "I was starting to get worried." 

Iikiba charged at Kunou while swinging his umbrella. Kunou managed to block it, only to be given a hard kick in the midsection.   
"Oof!" Kunou stumbled back a couple of steps, trying to regain his balance. Iikiba followed him, throwing punches that weren't quite as fast as Ranma's but fast enough. Kunou reeled as he received hits in the head, shoulders and chest. He tried to regroup for another attack. He brought his bokken up and got it into position, but before he could swing it, Iikiba had ducked and knocked the legs out from under him with a low kick.   
"Kunou-sama!" yelled Satsuke. "I'll help you!"   
Another watermelon was thrown into the air. It didn't make it over to the combatants. A swarm of mini spatulas reached it first--and the watermelon fell to the ground in slices.   
"There's no way that I'm gonna let you do that again!" roared Iikiba, as he resumed his advance on Kunou.   
"Get back, cretin," shouted Kunou as he scrambled to his feet, "or else you will receive what's coming to you!"   
"You really should get your mind outta the feudal ages," snarled Iikiba as he swung at Kunou's chest with his umbrella.   
Kunou tried to swing at Iikiba's hand, trying to knock the umbrella out. Instead, the bokken was knocked out of his own hand by a well aimed kick.   
"I really happen to LIKE red," Iikiba said as stepped closer to Kunou. "And you wanna know something else?"   
Iikiba threw a punch that hit the side of Kunou's head. Kunou went flying a few metres, and came down hard. Iikiba walked to the prone form as the crowd held its collective breath. The kendoist twitched once, but did not rise.   
Iikiba grinned.   
"And I can make red look manly," he told the prone form of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. 


	9. When Something Smells Funny...

**Recipe of Disaster**   
_Niki (NeeP) Paradis_

  
Chapter Nine: When Something Smells Funny...

The citizens of Nerima cheered at the boy in red. He grinned at the crowd and waved his thanks at their appreciation. And appreciate the fight they did. They figured that it was time in Furinkan for a newcomer and a new fight. Of course that doesn't mean that they didn't enjoy the fights which involved the pig-tailed boy or the redheaded pig-tailed girl, they all figured that they get what they paid for. Usually, Nabiki Tendou would be around offering better viewing for a nominal fee or taking bets on the outcome of the fight. (Not that it really mattered--the pig-tailed boy and the pig-tailed girl always won.) But this fight was free-- Nabiki Tendou was nowhere around. Some people were disappointed that they couldn't bet on the outcome of the match-- not that it really mattered. But ever since last year, Kunou had been on a losing streak like one wouldn't believe.   
The crowd watched as the boy in red muttered something to his unconscious opponent. They cheered as they watched him walk away towards an alley. They watched and even chuckled as the winner was grabbed at the elbow by another boy with red hair and led the opposite way. 

Ranma looked at the downed Kunou, and a thoughtful look came to his eyes.   
"Is it just me or did Kunou seemed to be a little more of a jerk than usual?" he asked Ryouga.   
"You know, I think that you're right," replied the Lost Boy. "I wonder why?" 

Satsuke approached his master cautiously. "Kunou-sama? Are you all right?" He gently prodded the prone form of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. At first the figure did not move. He poked at his master again. Finally, the figure twitched and moaned something. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you..." Satsuke leaned over to hear his master's words.   
Kunou groaned and muttered. One phrase was clearly understandable.   
"I curse you, my Twisted Sister," was what Kunou said.   
Satsuke understood. 

Earlier in the day… 

It was a simple accident that started the whole mess, and the fact the maids were all whispering about how it was 'that time of month' for their mistress. So that meant that an already hard to bear Kodatchi Kunou was made even worse. The whole household was in terror over the tantrums of the eccentric lady of the house. Some people knew when the getting was good and --went. Principal Kunou took one look at his daughter and left immediately for Hawaii. The staff agreed that this was a pretty good move on his part. However, Kunou didn't have the foresight or the brains to leave while he still could. He had heard the gossip of the maids and simply figured that 'that time of month' meant that there was a sale at the local apothecary, where Kodatchi picked up her potions. So instead of hiding out, he was practising his katas with his bokken and the pictures of his accursed rival, Ranma Saotome, which were liberated from his sister's bedroom.   
Kodatchi walked into the dojo while Kunou was slicing up her favourite picture of Ranma. That was when she freaked out. Any other time, Kodatchi would simply have returned the favour by destroying Kunou's pictures of Akane Tendou and the Pig-tailed Girl. But today was simply different. Instead she started to chase him around and through things at him, but without the grace of the Rhythmic-Gymnastics that she usually attacks with. She chased him into the main hallway and then she ducked into her room. Kunou decided that he would take advantage of the moment and hide.   
Tatewaki Kunou was taking shelter behind an expensive and ornate statue which was situated between himself and his younger sister. However, this wasn't a simple game of hide-and-seek, as Kodatchi was throwing small hard, and sometimes, expensive objects at him.   
"How **_DARE_** you use my pictures of my dear Ranma-sama as a dart board.?!?" She shrieked as she threw small jars of exotic perfume, pearl-handled hairbrushes, and other rare nick-nacks at her brother. Actually, Kunou would never have anything to do with the sport--being that it was so common, and tried telling his sister so. But Kodatchi was too angry to care. "You **_WILL_** pay, Oniisama, you'll pay dearly indeed!!!" Then she stopped throwing things. "I'll see you later, Oniisama," she said sweetly, with a wicked little smile on her face and returned to her room.   
The rest of the morning was spent with Kunou anticipating his younger sister's revenge. He found it to be very nerve wracking. Whenever he would come across her, in the household, he would cringe, and she would smile and greet him pleasantly. It wasn't until later when he went into his room after practice with his bokken for a clean change of clothes, he discovered his sister's pet alligator, Midori-Kame-kun, in his bed.   
After that, Satsuke suggested that it might be prudent for his master to leave the house for a while until his sister calmed down and Kunou was able to get a hold of the situation. Kunou agreed. He figured that the best way to calm down was to find Saotome and smite him --after all, he was responsible for his sister's behaviour that day. If the vile sorcerer, Saotome hadn't charmed his younger sister, then she wouldn't have been so upset over the pictures.   
So Kunou and his manservant were walking down the street on their way to the Tendou dojo to make the challenge when he was who knocked him down by an ignorant boy in red. Fed up with the frustrations of the day, Kunou decided that even though the lout was not Saotome, he would be adequate to vent his frustrations on.   
_ (Well, you can remember how well THAT worked.)_   
Satsuke winced as he remembered the outcome of the fight. 

Jiro was only half listening to the discussions of Ranma, Ukyou, Yoiko-kun and her brother. Instead she was looking at Kunou and his manservant. She watched as Kanaeda Saotome led Iikiba Hibiki away from an alleyway. _They gotta be heading back to Ucchan's_, she thought to herself. And with Kanaeda's tight grip on his friend's sleeve, there was no way that he can get lost again-- unless Iikiba really, really tried. She chuckled to herself, watching the two boys walk away. Then she idly looked to the alleyway that Iikiba was originally heading to. She was surprised to see a young woman walk out of the alley and purposefully towards Kunou as if she knew him. The young woman stopped in front of Satsuke and Kunou and shook her head as if in disgust. She picked up Kunou's wooden sword and handed it to the startled ninja. Then she handed him what seemed to be a bokken of her own and grabbed Kunou from under his armpits and dragged him off. Satsuke followed in what appeared to be some confusion. Jiro blinked. She was a little confused as well. _Who's that?_ She looked to Ryouga to she what he thought of the situation, but he was busy threatening Ranma. So she looked back to the spot where Kunou was and realised that he, Satsuke, and the strange young woman were all gone.   
The officer watched as the crowd dispersed. He couldn't move. What he just saw was astounding. And the combatants were just kids. He wondered if he should have arrested the boy in the burgundy shirt, for excessive violence or something. But as the crowd dispersed, the boy was nowhere to be found. In fact, neither was the other boy, the victim... It was as if they both vanished. And it appeared that none of the bystanders were upset or even concerned over the battle. Instead, they were commenting on the movements of the two boys and on the fact that it was a free battle. The young officer was starting to get really confused. 

Iikiba Hibiki and Kanaeda Saotome were moving through the dispersing crowd.   
"Why were you heading towards the alley?" asked Kanaeda.   
"I really don't know..." Iikiba looked thoughtful. "I had a hunch that it would lead somewhere..."   
"So speaks a Hibiki." The redhead chuckled.   
"Shut-up, jackass..." Iikiba glared at his buddy. Kanaeda ignored him.   
"Anyway, what was it like?" he asked.   
"What was what like?" asked Iikiba confused.   
"Beating the crap out of Kunou-sensei?"   
"Oh, that..." Iikiba gave an evil little grin complete with fangs showing. "It was _so _sweet."   
"You're the man, 'Kiba-kun." Kanaeda punched him in the shoulder. "Of course it would have taken me less time to lay him flat."   
Iikiba levelled a 'look' at his best friend that said: 'yeah, sure, whatever'. He shrugged. "I dunno. You couldn't hit him hard enough to flatten him. You're not that strong."   
"Wanna make a bet, Ga-chan?!?" challenged the redhead boy.   
"When we get back home, I'll take you up on that, Kan-kun," growled Iikiba in reply.   
"You're on!" grinned Kanaeda. He looked around and saw Ranma, Ryouga, Ukyou and the others. "Hey! Ain't those your parents over there?" he asked, pointing to the group.   
"Hmmm?"   
"Yeah, that's them. Let's catch up to them." The boys changed directions and started to head towards the others. 

Akari Unryuu was looking among the dispersing crowd for her boyfriend. She managed to see him walking away with the Saotome boy, and the cheerful girl, Jiro, and the girl who ran the okonomiyaki restaurant. There was also another girl, who had a very remarkable resemblance to her dear Ryouga, walking with them. The five of them were heading towards the restaurant. Heading towards them, were two more boys. One of them was the victor in the recent fight, the other was a nice looking boy with brilliant red hair. Akari was a little surprised that Akane, other contender for Ryouga's heart, was nowhere to be found in the vicinity. She dismissed that little bit of incongruity as a bit of luck and she nudged Katsunishiki towards the group.   
"Ryouga-sama!" she called out, as the huge pig dashed towards the group.   
The boy in yellow and green looked up and saw her. He hesitantly waved to her, after a glance at the dark hair girl dressed almost the same as him.   
"Hi Akari-san!" he called back to her. Everyone else in the group looked towards her and her approaching pig. They looked towards the approaching boy in red and then back at the girl in green and yellow. The other two boys saw the pig approaching and the one in red, wearing the bandoleer with the spatulas in it started to run towards the group, pulling the other boy along.   
The young girl in green and yellow opened her mouth and was about to say something, but the kid in red reached her first and slapped his hand over her mouth. He said something to the young girl, but his voice was too soft for Akari to hear.   
The huge pig reached the group and skidded to a halt. Akari slid off his back. She turned and faced Ryouga. "You're a hard person to find, Ryouga-sama," she said as she went to hug him. Ryouga's hugged her back, only with a slight resistance that was only slightly noticeable. Katsunishiki growled in a low voice. Akari wondered why. After all, Akane Tendou was nowhere in sight.   
"Who are your new friends?" she asked as she looked around the group. The girl in yellow and green that looked almost exactly like Ryouga, had her eyes opened wide and her face was red. But that might have just been the result of the hand of the boy in red with the spatulas covering her mouth. "Will you introduce them to me?"   
Everyone looked nervous for some reason. 

A few moments before...   
Iikiba was trading shoulder punches with Kanaeda when he saw the huge pig. He swallowed and started to head out towards the group and his sister at a run, dragging Kanaeda along with him.   
"Oh, _shit_," he muttered.   
"What's the hurry, 'Kiba-kun?" asked the redhead boy.   
"Gotta get to Yoiko before she says something stupid."   
"What the hell are you talkin' about?"   
"Look there." Iikiba pointed to the huge pig. "You know that pig, right?"   
"Yeah, that's Katsunishiki."   
"And on top of him is Auntie Akari. See her?"   
"Yeah. So? What does that have to do with any..?" Kanaeda took a second to figure things out. "Hoo boy... And Yoiko's been feeling a bit on the talkative side. That could be a problem."   
"Exactly." Iikiba kept on running, with his eyes focused on his sister. He knew that as long as he could see the specific goal, he could not get lost along the way. In a mere moment, he managed to reached Yoiko's side and slapped his hand over her mouth just as she was about to say 'Hi Auntie Akari!' Yoiko's eyes widened in surprise and wounded pride. She started to struggle.   
"Hush, Y'iko," Iikiba whispered in her ear. "This is Akari, remember? Do you remember the stories about her that Auntie Ji used to tell us? Watch what you say here."   
Under the present circumstances, the young girl could only nod her aquisciance. Then he noticed Katsunishiki's piggish eyes look at him and growled. 

Satsuke was very confused. He wondered who this young woman who can so quickly take charge was. He has never seen her around Nerima before, yet there was definitely something very familiar about her. There was a bit of resemblance to Nabiki Tendou, but her regal bearing seemed much like that of his master's. He looked at the bokken that he was holding. It was the same shape and size as Kunou-sama's but it belonged to the young woman.   
"Hey."   
Satsuke looked up. The young woman had had stopped before the manor. She was still holding up the young man by the shoulders and was now looking towards the diminutive ninja.   
"Yes?" asked the manservant.   
"Are you going to open the door or aren't you?" The young woman raised an eyebrow.   
"Sorry..." Satsuke hurried to comply.   
"That's better," murmured the girl as she dragged poor unconscious Kunou through the doors of the gate. "What I wouldn't have done to have Tam here..." she muttered as she went by the startled manservant.   
Once they made it into the house, the young woman stopped. "Now put the bokken by the door and give me a hand here. For crying out loud, hurry up! This is your lord here." Satsuke did as he was told then went to help the girl. He gingerly picked up Kunou's feet and together, he and the girl hauled the noble master to his room and put him to bed.   
Once covered with the quilt, Satsuke had to admit that his master didn't look quite as pathetic as before --even a bit more noble, as if he was in repose and not just beaten up by a boy a year his junior.   
Apparently, the young woman did not share the same thoughts.   
"Good Grief," she was addressing the unconscious form. "You really are pathetic, aren't you?" She shook her head. "But then you didn't know better than to twit Iikiba-kun about his colour choice. He got you good, didn't he? Okaasan was right. You really do need someone to look after you all the time, don't you?"   
"Excuse me?" interrupted Satsuke.   
The woman looked up. "What is it?" she asked.   
"You know the young man who defeated Kunou-sama?"   
"Iikiba-kun? Yeah, I guess you can say that I do. Why?"   
"Uh, no reason..." stammered the small ninja.   
"Oh. I know. So that your lord will know the name of the man who humiliate him so that he can take revenge later."   
"Uh..." Satsuke was surprised. No one else really knew Kunou-sama that well.   
"Well, I'm sorry, but I can't give you more information than that. I helped simply because it was my duty to do so. That's all. Now that I'm done, you can give me directions to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop."   
"Yes, I can do that..."   
"I hear a but."   
"Yes. Before I give you the directions, this lowly servant wishes to know the name of the noble young woman who helped him out..." Satsuke went onto his hands and knees and bowed very low.   
The young woman smiled. "You grovel well, I will give you that. I am called Kitana. You will get to know me better in the future." 

Ryouga almost groaned as Akari slid off of her pig. The last thing he needed was for his girlfriend to know that his future children were visiting and that they weren't hers. He watched nervously as Iikiba removed his hand from his sister's mouth.   
"Will you introduce them to me?" asked Akari.   
"Um, ah..." Ryouga was at a loss for words. Luckily he didn't have to find them.   
"I am called Iikiba," said the boy.   
"I am Yoiko," stammered the girl.   
"I'm Kanaeda," grinned the redhead boy, trying to take some of the attention off of his friends.   
"Please to meet all of you. My name is Unryuu Akari," the pig trainer smiled. "_Iikiba?_ _Yoiko?_ Are they relatives of yours, Ryouga-sama?"   
"Um..." said Ryouga.   
"Distant relatives, you might say," supplied Iikiba.   
"Very distant," muttered Yoiko. 

Ranma didn't know what to say or do. He knew that he had the perfect opportunity to embarrass the hell out of Ryouga. He chuckled at the thought, but when he looked around, he realised that everyone who was not speaking with Akari was looking at him, as if they were daring him to say something about the actual relationship between Ryouga, Iikiba and Yoiko, not to mention Ukyou. Their eyes also mentioned possible punishment if he did.   
He opened his mouth.   
Then he closed it. And for one of the very few times in his sixteen years, Ranma wisely kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to upset Akari any more than Ryouga did; after all, the pig trainer was a very nice person, kind of like Kasumi.   
Not to mention that there were a bunch of well-trained martial artists just waiting for the chance to jump him. He sighed, then grinned. Perhaps he couldn't say anything, but it didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy the present discomfort that Ryouga was already in. 

Ukyou also had instantly realised the reason for Ryouga's discomfort. Hell, she felt it too. The last thing that she wanted at the moment was for Ryouga's girlfriend to learn that there was a future where it was she, Kuonji Ukyou, who bore the lost boy's children. It was obvious that Yoiko was related to Ryouga. And it didn't take too much for anyone to make a connection between brown hair Iikiba and herself either. At least not with his skills at cooking okonomiyaki. She knew that she had to get away.   
"Ryouga, we got to go," she said loudly.   
Ryouga practically jumped. He spun away from Akari and faced her. "We do?" asked he asked.   
"Yes, sugar, we do. Now."   
"Uh, okay... I think." Ryouga looked very confused. "I've got to go, Akari-san," he said.   
Akari looked hurt. "But, why?" she asked.   
Ryouga didn't know how to answer, especially since he didn't know the reason to why he had to leave, either. But before he could tell his girlfriend that, Ukyou had managed to drag him away. 

Here's a little know fact... 

Despite being on the lower end of the food chain, pigs are not stupid. They also possess an excellent sense of smell. And a very good memory. 

Katsunishiki was smarter than the average pig. He was also bigger, and he was also very loyal to his mistress. And he was really, really pissed off at the moment.   
He was observing the group of people that mistress was talking to. Most of them he knew and had long ago ascertain that they were no threat to Akari. He knew that Ryouga, the human that occasionally turned into a pig, was his mistress' intended. He knew that Akari wanted to have a litter with the young man someday.   
There were also three new comers. One of the young men, the one called Kanaeda, had a smell that seemed similar to that of Ranma. Kanaeda's smell also seemed to be that of Akari's rival, Akane. It was obvious that the boy was part of a litter between the two.   
Then there were the other two newcomers, a male and a female. Both of them smelled a bit like Ryouga, and they smelled a bit like one of the other girls, Ukyou. The huge pig was shocked. The young man had a litter with someone else besides Akari. _How dares he?!? _ Katsunishiki growled. How dare that other girl steal his mistress' intended away from her?!? There was only one thing to do. He had to get rid of the other girl so that Ryouga could be free for his mistress again.   
He watched as Ukyou took Ryouga's hand and tried to lead him away. Katsunishiki was certain that she was leading him away so that they make another litter together. Katsunishiki decided that it was a very good time to kill off the threat to his mistress' plans to mate with Ryouga. 

"C'mon, Ryouga!" growled Ukyou as she pulled Ryouga away. "We got work to do!"   
"Like what?!?" Ryouga was exasperated. He really didn't want to have anything more to do with the okonomiyaki chef at the moment. Iikiba and Yoiko were enough. He didn't want to upset Akari either, but now he realised that it was too late.   
Ukyou stopped. Why was she tugging Ryouga away from Akari anyway? It's not like she was jealous of the pig trainer or something. But she decided that she didn't want to leave him alone with the kids from the 'future' either. She didn't want them to give Ryouga any weird ideas.   
"Ukyou! Answer me! What kind of work do we have to do?!?"   
"Something..." she answered lamely. She really didn't know, but was loathe to tell him that.   
She was just starting to tug on Ryouga's sleeve again when Akari's huge pig gave a vicious squeal. Both teens turned to look in time to see Katsunishiki starting to charge towards them. They saw that Akari was back up on the back of her pig, trying to stop him. She was barely hanging on.   
"Katsunishiki!!! Stop! What has gotten into you?!?" she shrieked.   
"**_Quee!!!_**" queed the pig, ignoring his mistress as he picked up speed.   
Ukyou stood shocked, like a stunned rabbit, until Ryouga pushed her out of the way. She recovered enough so not to fall, then she turned around to yell at him.   
"Ryouga! You Jackass!!! What the hell do you think you're doing?!?"   
"Saving your neck!" retorted the Lost Boy. "Like you're able to stop a two tonne pig from running you down! Now get outta here!!!"   
Ukyou paused to give Ryouga a dirty look, then scampered out of the way. But to the surprise of them both, the sumo-pig changed his course to follow her. A ninety-degree turn managed to throw Akari off by surprise. She looked surprised as if it had never occurred to her that Katsunishiki would toss her. Luckily, Iikiba was there to catch her. 

Ryouga ran to catch up with the huge pig. He managed to get in front of him in time to block the charge. Both pig and young man skidded to a halt, as Ryouga wrestled the huge pig to a standstill. He quickly looked around to make sure that no one was close enough to hear, then he began to communicate with the pig.   
=What is your problem?!?= he demanded of Katsunishiki.   
(_The language of pigs involves facial expressions, body posture, certain movements as well as the rare grunt or squeal for emphasis. Pigs usually don't make much noise unless they want to catch the attention of someone else.)_   
=It's those whelps of yours,= snorted the huge pig. =I can smell the stench of that other human sow on them. They are not of Akari's litter, but they are of yours. Now, get out of my way!= If anyone were close enough, they wouldn't hear a thing.   
=You can tell?!?= Ryouga was shocked. Then he began to curse at himself under his breath. He had forgotten about the acute sense of smell that a pig can possess. He decided to try and reason with the pig. =But they are too old to be of my litter!= he protested.   
=It doesn't take long for piglets to mature,= retorted the huge pig.   
=But it takes years and years for human litters to mature!= protested Ryouga. He quickly thought about explaining the story about Iikiba and Yoiko, then decided against it. He realised that it would be pointless trying to explain time travelling to the huge pig. Besides, there was no word for 'time-travel' in pig.   
=You are trying to deceive me!= bellowed Katsunishiki. =I know what I smell! I must kill the human sow that has mated with you to make room for Akari!=   
=You can't do that!= muttered Ryouga. He switched back to Japanese. "You can't hurt Ukyou like that! Not for what might be!"   
=Now get out of my way, so I can do what I have to,= ordered Katsunishiki.   
=Over my dead body,= countered Ryouga. =There's no point for anyone to die, simply for what might happen in the future.=   
=I will defeat you this time.=   
The huge pig charged. 

Akari watched in amazement from her position in Iikiba's arms. She has never seen her pig so angry, or go after a girl in the way he had.   
"What's wrong with Katsunishiki?" she asked herself out loud.   
"I don't know, Akari-san," replied the young man in red as he set her down. "I wonder if Ryouga-san needs help...?"   
"No!" exclaimed Akari. "You can't all team up against him like that!"   
"But I can't just leave him there!" yelled Iikiba. He was about to leave the pig trainer when he heard another voice from behind him.   
"Oniisan!" cried out Jiro. "I'm coming!" She dashed right by them both and went on towards the new battle.   
Both Iikiba and Akari followed.   
"Katsunishiki!" called out the pig trainer. "Stop, please! Ryouga-sama! You both have to stop this!!! What has got into you two?!?" She ran to as close to the fight as she dared, without getting in the way.   
Unfortunately, both boy and pig refused to heed her. They grappled and seemed to be unaware of anything else. Jiro reached the two, and paused, unsure of what to do next. Then she went to the back of the pig and started to haul on his tail, in an attempt to pull him away from her foster brother. Iikiba went to Ryouga and tried to pull him away from the pig. Both struggled to separate the two combatants.   
"Why is he doing this?" Jiro called out to her brother.   
Ryouga grunted. "He wants to kill Ukyou!"   
Akari gasped. She heard Ryouga's accusations. _Katsunishiki wants to kill Ukyou-san?!? Why?_ No one else heard her, though, as totally focused as they were on the fight. She knew that Ryouga-sama was an honest person, and wouldn't make false accusations, but she also knew the pig that she raised from birth. And Katsunishiki would never do anything like that unless he had a very good reason.   
"How come?" asked Jiro.   
"He knows about Iikiba and Yoiko!" grunted Ryouga. "Let me go, Iikiba!"   
"He does?" gasped Jiro as she gave another yank at the sumo-pig's tail. Katsunishiki struggled to get away from the blonde girl and to get to Ryouga.   
"How?!?" asked Iikiba, using more of his strength to haul Ryouga away from the pig.   
"He smells a mixture of Ukyou and me all over you..." Ryouga replied. "Would you let me go?!?"   
_What's so important about those two that Katsunishiki has to kill Ukyou over?_ Akari asked herself. _And what does Ryouga-sama mean that Katsunishiki smells Ukyou-san and him all over Iikiba-kun?_ She looked towards the okonomiyaki chef. Ukyou was starting to edge back towards the fight scene. Akari decided to intercept her. She walked up to the other girl.   
"Do you know what is going on here?" asked Akari.   
"What do you mean?" asked Ukyou, confused.   
"According to Ryouga-sama, Katsunishiki wants to kill you and that it has to do with Iikiba-kun and Yoiko-chan."   
Ukyou became wary. "Where did you hear that?" she asked.   
"He was telling Jiro-chan."   
"What did he say?"   
"He said that Katsunishiki can smell both you and Ryouga-sama all over Iikiba-kun and Yoiko-chan." Akari made a funny face as if she was trying to digest the odd information given to her. "Do you know what he means?"   
"Uh..." Ukyou took a deep breath. "Do you believe in time-travel?" she asked.   
"Isn't that something from science-fiction films?" asked Akari in a perplexed voice.   
"That's what I thought too, sugar. Or at least until Iikiba showed up."   
"Explain that to me, please. Who is Iikiba-kun?"   
The okonomiyaki chef led the pig trainer a little ways away to explain. 

Ranma was simply watching the fight. He knew better than to butt into one of Ryouga's battles. Jiro may be the only one to get away with it, from time to time, and apparently she had found one of those times. He turned to Kanaeda and Yoiko.   
"Tell me something," he started to ask. "In your timeline, What is Akari's status?"   
"Um..." started Yoiko. "It's kind of hard to describe..."   
"I really don't think we should be telling," commented the future Saotome.   
"Auntie Akari is all right, really" commented the young Hibiki girl. "She had only been in for treatment a couple of times..."   
"Yoiko!" snapped Kanaeda.   
"Treatment?" asked Ranma. "What for?"   
Kanaeda clapped his hand over Yoiko's mouth. "Nothing," he said.   
"Manic depression," said a new voice. All heads turned to face a young woman who was walking towards them. She was about seventeen years old, with chin-length brown hair. She looked a little bit like Nabiki, but she was carrying a wooden bokken, akin to Kunou's.   
"Who are you?" asked Ranma.   
"Kunou Kitana," replied the young woman. "Anyway," she sighed, "Okaasan told me this once. It's kind of tragic. Akari had trouble understanding the reasons why Ryouga chose Ukyou over her. After all, Akari was more than willing to love Ryouga just the way he was, pig curse and all. She couldn't accept that he preferred the love and violence, as she saw it, that Ukyou provided to what she considered perfect love. It took her a long to time to realise that Ryouga would have been smothered by her love."   
Ranma blinked at the information that he was just given. _KUNOU KITANA..?_   
"You talk too much, Kit," commented Kanaeda. "Did Aunt Nabiki send you here?"   
"No. Ukyou did."   
Ranma looked towards Ukyou Kuonji, who was sitting with Akari under the shade of a nearby tree. "Her?" he asked.   
"No!" snorted Kitana. "Not that Ukyou! Hibiki Ukyou, not Kuonji!"   
"Whoa..." Ranma was at a loss for words.   
"Hey!" commented Kanaeda, pointing to a shady area under some trees. "Speaking of Ukyous... What is that one doing with Akari-san?"   
All heads turned.   
"Man..." muttered the redhead boy. "Hang on for a sec, guys," he said, then ran off to the girls. 

Akari was having trouble believing the incredible tale that Ukyou-san was telling her.   
"You mean to tell me that Iikiba-kun, Yoiko-chan and Kanaeda-kun are all from an alternate dimension?" she asked.   
"That's right, sugar! And get this! Both Iikiba and Yoiko are the children of Ryouga and..."   
"Ukyou-san!" interrupted Kanaeda, running in between the girls. "Don't tell me that you actually believe that sci-fi garbage that 'Kiba-kun is spewing out?!?"   
"Garbage?" asked Akari.   
"What do you mean by 'garbage'?" demanded Ukyou.   
"Iikiba's been known to do that from time to time..." Kanaeda drawled.   
"Huh?!?" asked both girls.   
"You see, um, Iikiba has been pulling this stunt on many people from time to time. He does a bit of research on some people, like teen couples and then he shows up pretending to be the son from the future. You won't believe how many people actually fall for this stupid gag of his."   
Akari was confused. "And Yoiko-chan...?" she asked.   
"Ah, he cons her into playing along, poor kid." Kanaeda shook his head. "It really isn't fair to her."   
"But the smells...?" tried Akari again.   
"Well, that's not hard to figure out..." He pointed to Iikiba. "You take a look at 'Kiba-kun there. You see that bandolier that he's wearing? Well, it's one of Ukyou-san's spares, I bet. Probably swiped from the storeroom for this job. And the outfit? Look at how similar it is to Ryouga-san's... That's probably what your pig smells, Akari-san." He sighed. "And look at how he got Y'iko-chan wearing the same thing too. That's just too low..." The redhead shook his head.   
Ukyou was simply too stunned to speak until now. "But what about the pic..." she started to ask, until Kanaeda slapped his hand over her mouth.   
"That's enough, Ukyou-san," he said. "You don't really want Akari-san to be as confused as you are, right?"   
Akari was getting more and more confused. But when a look of realisation came across Ukyou's face, she understood everything. Ukyou was just played for a fool and she had just realised it. Then Kanaeda removed his hand from the okonomiyaki chef's face.   
"I got it now, sugar," she said darkly. "I'll be sure to give that guy a piece of my mind."   
Akari shook her head in disbelief. "Why would anyone want to play such a cruel gag?" she asked.   
"Who knows?" muttered Ukyou, looking at Kanaeda.   
The pig trainer turned towards the fight. She marched right up to the group and assumed her trainer's stance.   
"Katsunishiki! Ryouga-sama! Stop it right now! Both of you!"   
Both pig and teen paused in their fighting. Jiro and Iikiba turned to face the commanding girl.   
"I have talked with Ukyou-san and Kanaeda-kun," Akari said sternly to the huge pig. "And they have proven that Ukyou-san is not a threat."   
"Really?" asked Iikiba. "How come?"   
Akari levelled an icy gaze at him. "Your friend, Kanaeda-kun, has told me about the little games you play."   
Iikiba looked confused. "Games?" he asked.   
"Don't play innocent, please. Admit that you are not Ryouga-sama and Ukyou-san's son!"   
"Say what?!?" asked Ryouga and Iikiba together.   
"What are you talking about, Akari-san?" asked Jiro.   
"What did Kanaeda say?" asked Ryouga.   
"He said that you are wearing stolen stuff to confuse poor Katsunishiki's sense of smell."   
"He is?" asked Ryouga.   
"He is?" asked Jiro.   
"I am?" asked Iikiba.   
"You are!" accused Akari. "Now just stop this fighting!!! All of you!"   
Reluctantly the three teens and the huge pig let go of each other and stood shamefaced. Akari glared at them all, spun around and started to walk away. As she stomped off, she could have sworn that she could have heard Iikiba murmured something.   
"I'm gonna kill Kanaeda," he muttered.   
  



End file.
